Your child is not your child.
They are children born of life's desire for themselves.
They came into this world with your help, not because of you.
They are by your side, but they don't belong to you.
What you can give them is your love, not your thoughts.
Because they have their own ideas.
You can shelter their bodies, but not their souls.
Because their souls belong to tomorrow, which you never dreamed of.
You can try to be like them, but don't let them be like you.
Because life will not go backwards and will not stay in the past.
You are a bow, and your children are your arrows.
Archers look at the target on the way to the future,
He tried his best to pull you away, so that his arrow could shoot fast and far.
Bend in the archer's hands with a happy heart,
Because he loves the arrow that flies all the way and the bow that is extremely stable.
We were born as parents, worried about our children, and worked hard for them all our lives, but we just couldn't accompany them to their old age. It is not so much an unspeakable regret as a concern.
They came to this world, not because they miss you, but with your body. We can't stop her coming, we can only passively accept and be moved passively.
The child we regard as a treasure will grow up one day, leave our wings to protect her and soar alone in the world that belongs to her. We can't stop it. We are more worried than worried.
We think about hanging love every day, but we can't engrave our thoughts on it. We can only watch from a distance and love silently. Until one day, they think this kind of love is a burden, and we have to retreat to places where they can't see it and try to hide it, but even if we hide this kind of love in any space, it is still an inseparable love.
How can it be? They have their ideas and their world. Although you try to be a member of their world, you will find that it is only your wishful thinking. No matter how hard you try, it's in vain. The generation gap has deeply divided the boundary between you and them, and you can't cross it.
I like to describe the relationship between parents and children in poems. Parents are bows, children are arrows.
The arrow always leaves the bow, and the bow always gets rid of things that can't stay and want to fly. The two seem to have nothing to do, but they are inextricably linked and entangled.
Parents are willing to guard and protect their children's bodies, but they find that they can't keep their children's souls. I can't catch it, I can't touch it, I can only vaguely feel that children will no longer belong to us one day, and we can't control their thoughts. Even the bodies that want shelter don't need our shelter, they just interfere with their little lives with self-righteous love. I don't know that their parents are already a drag and burden to them at this time.
I don't want that day to come, even if you just come to this world with my body and come to my side, I will use my life to guard without regrets. Even if one day you dislike me, I will still look at you silently in the distance and care about everything about you, which is my only hope to stay in this world. The days without hope are ethereal. I don't want to wander in the empty space. I just want to hold on to you.
When you no longer belong to us, please remember how many wonderful times we spent together, crying and laughing together. Parents are the most beautiful scenery in your life. No matter how beautiful other scenery is, it has nothing to do with you. Parents have unique scenery here. Without this scenery, you will no longer be you, and your home will no longer have a home.
Words in Lesson 430, Section 20 by Fan Qi Qiwei 1 190