You wrote "Poppy", right? Merely speaking from a metrical point of view, there are a lot of things that are wrong. The rhyme is not right and the rhythm is wrong. Give me a word score and you can check it.
If you are satisfied with the answer, please accept it in time, thank you!
Yu Meiren Ci Pai
⊙平⊙仄平平仄 (仄 rhyme)
⊙仄平平仄 (叶仄)
⊙ 平⊙仄仄平平 (replace with Ping rhyme)
⊙仄⊙ Pingping任仄平平 (Ye Ping)
⊙平⊙仄平平仄 (replace with 仄 rhyme)
⊙仄平平仄 (叶仄)
⊙平⊙任仄平平 (replace with flat rhyme)
⊙仄⊙平平任仄平
Check according to Pingshui rhyme, the differences are as follows:
When will Fenghuaxueyue rest?<--No rhyme
Ping Ping Ping Ping Ping Ping Tong Ping Ping - your Ping Ping
⊙平⊙仄平平仄--Requirements for 平仄
The young swallow turns white-headed
平通廄廄平
⊙廄平平廄
The wasted years pass like autumn<--No rhyme!
Ping Ping Ping Ping Ping Ping Ping
⊙Ping⊙仄仄Ping Ping
Who knows the sorrow of a flash in the pan
Ping Ping Ping Ping Ping Ping Ping Ping Ping
⊙仄⊙Ping Ping Ping Ping Ping Ping Ping
The luan and the phoenix will never let go<--No rhyme!
平廄平平平通仄
⊙平⊙任平平仄
Cannot accept the clutch
平仄仄平仄
< p>⊙廄平平廄It’s so embarrassing to send love from afar
平廄平平平平平
⊙平⊙仄廄平平
It’s hard to fall asleep every night with so much uncertainty
廄廄平廄通通平平
⊙仄⊙平平仄仄平平
There are 18 errors! There are 3 unrhymed ones!