A: "The two children are grown up, and now my mother has gone to take care of my sister's children. She is very happy, and the couple Just take care of the child, don’t worry about anything else, my mother will take care of you.”
B: “Me too, my mother will take care of my son. My mother also said that since it’s so warm in Shenzhen during the Chinese New Year, there’s no need to go back, little one. I’m taking good care of your baby at home, what’s there to worry about?”
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? They are very selfless mothers who have arranged everything for their daughters and raised them. The eldest daughter also took care of her nephew, and after the eldest daughter took care of her, there was also the younger one. Suddenly I thought of my mother again. My mother is also a very hard-working and capable rural woman. She has raised a lot of children in her life. After raising her younger brother and raising her daughter, she raised her daughter and raised her nephew. She worked hard all her life, became sick from exhaustion, and left without enjoying any blessings. .
? If I could turn back time, I would definitely say: Mom, in fact, you don’t need to be so selfless. Let go when it’s time to let go. I also want to say this to mothers who are still working.
? Why? In fact, there are many reasons.
Simply looking at child care, children need their mother more than grandma or grandma. Mother’s care is indispensable, especially between the ages of 0 and 6. Infants and young children’s brain development and During the critical period of character development, mothers can give their children an innate sense of security and lay the foundation for their children to establish good character.
They say that laziness is a giant worm. In fact, laziness is a giant worm. Once it breeds, it is difficult to get rid of it. For a new mother, it is good to have grandma and grandma to help with this matter, but if the help goes too far and everything is done for the mother, the mother will easily become lazy. Once the mother is lazy, words and deeds will no longer be effective. Many mothers may not be lazy intentionally. Because of their work commitments, even if they live with the elderly and children, they are unable to accompany their babies well. Therefore, even if they are with them, the babies only need to be kissed by their grandma or grandma and will not be kissed by their mother. Many times it is the elderly who feel sorry for their children and take care of them. Our eldest child has been sleeping with my mother since weaning. Actually, it’s not that he doesn’t want to sleep with me. It’s because my mother thinks that I work too hard. I often work overtime, leave early and come home late. If the baby sleeps with me at night and makes a fuss, he won’t be able to rest well. , because I felt sorry for my daughter, I always insisted on taking my nephew to bed. I didn’t know much about parenting at that time, so I just let her go in order to save trouble and worry. It was really not until my mother became seriously ill that I started to take care of raising children. So when the second baby came, I didn’t even know how the eldest baby was brought here before. Starting from the basic baby bath, I learned everything step by step.
? Dabao has been a bit weak-tempered since he was a child, crying easily. I thought it was a problem with his natural personality, and he might just follow me. He also has a weak personality, so he didn’t care until he entered elementary school in the second half of the year. My crying temperament did not improve, but got worse. I was not able to adapt to the new environment. My friends reminded me that there might be a sensory disorder, so I took the time to study the sensory system systematically, and became more aware of the importance of mother's own care. sex. Many seemingly personality problems are not innate, but are closely related to the family's parenting style and the mother's level of involvement. Looking back, some of Dabao's problems such as crying easily, having a bad temper, being acquainted with strangers, and being afraid of crowds and noises, etc., may all be related to his laziness in raising children in his early years. Facts have proved that even though he was lazy in his early years, he still has to spend more time now. Time to remedy that.
Mother’s love is selfless, but I want to say that if the time sequence can be adjusted, and the baby can be more selfless and personally involved in caring for her children before they reach adulthood, especially before they are 6 years old, there will be more. Companion, it is not necessarily a bad thing if your children can be more selfish when they grow up, let go when they should let go, and take less when they can.
Of course, the mother’s companionship also needs to be of high quality. It is not just about feeding and clothing, but just hugging her every day. Due to the pressure of life, most mothers will go to work and leave it to their children. Time is very limited. How to provide high-quality companionship to enhance the parent-child relationship is something every mother needs to learn and improve. If you just turn on the TV, play with your mobile phone, and hold your baby, this kind of companionship may not be effective no matter how much time you spend. It is said that "if parents study hard, their children will make progress every day", which is very reasonable.
Our Dabao is not a left-behind child. In fact, I keep him with me all the time. Occasionally, my mother takes him back to our hometown to play alone for a few days during summer vacation, and he spends most of the time with us. We are also parents who love to learn, and we know the importance of parent-child relationship, but looking back, we still didn’t learn enough, at least in terms of emotional integration, so my mother told us that she didn’t like to talk to us for a while. When children play, they always push them in the car because they are too tired to leave. When other children snatch toys and other problems, we don’t care. We don’t pay attention to his emotional changes in time. The older we get, the less safe we ??become. If we are careful enough and If he is knowledgeable and can be given some simple training from an early age, he will be able to grow up happily, and we will become more and more relaxed.
The mistake is over after all. Fortunately, it can still be corrected. Although it takes a little more time, we still need to make good use of it. A child's growth is inseparable from his mother's love, and a mother's letting go is also the only way for a child to grow.
The best mother is one who is there when the baby needs her most, and can turn around and leave when the baby needs to grow up! Selflessness is love, but it can also be harmful!
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