Stories about lame poems

1. According to legend, in order to attract customers, a restaurant owner hung a sign on the lintel "There is no charge for eating tomorrow". The next day, a local doctor, a poor scholar and a beggar came to eat enough. They had a big meal and just wanted to leave. The shopkeeper stopped him and said, "You can eat for free tomorrow, but today you can't leave without paying." Seeing that the three poor people really had no money to squeeze, the shopkeeper had to make things difficult for them and said, "Whoever can write a lame poem of eleven words, up, down, left, right, front, back, heaven, earth, three, five and heart, can be exempted from paying for meals." Where does the shopkeeper know that these two people often listen to the nonsense of folk artists in the street, and they will hum a few lame poems for the yogi to recite first:

"There are six kinds of Dihuang Pills, including Heavenly King Buxin Dan. Zuogui Pill and Gui You Pill can treat your flexion and flexion. Three slices of fresh ginger and five red dates, sent in hollow. "

The shopkeeper had to let him go. It is more important for a scholar to write lame poems;

"I know astronomy, I know geography, I have read Zuo Zhuan and You Zhuan, I have seen the former Han Dynasty and the later Han Dynasty, I stand at thirty, I know my destiny at fifty, and I do whatever I want."

The scholar also swaggered away. The beggar scratched his head, spread out his hand and said helplessly:

"Can't ascend to heaven, can't enter the ground, left can't jump into the river, right can't jump into the well. In the middle of nowhere, three people drank your five pots of wine, leaving me alone in the shopkeeper. Where is your conscience? " The shopkeeper had to give up.

2. According to legend, there was a county grandfather who didn't want to build water conservancy projects, but went to the countryside to beg for rain, even begging for three days without rain. A poet wrote:

"Great grandfather is going to rain, for three days and three nights. I opened the window last night and the moon came out. "

The county grandfather was furious when he learned that he immediately sent someone to invite the poet into the lobby and sneered, "I heard that you are good at writing seventeen-character poems." Ok, I will punish you for writing a 17-character poem in class now. If it is well written, I will let you go home. "The poet said," well, please ask a question. Grandfather Guangxian is called Zhang Xipo. He usually compares himself with Su Dongpo, a poet in the Song Dynasty, and says, "Su Dongpo, a man of great talent, is called Dongpo, and I love elegance. Let's take the word' Xipo' as the title. " At Zhang Xipo, the poet should track:

"The ancients Dongpo, present west slope. When the two are compared, they are much worse. "

Everyone laughed as soon as the poem came out. Hearing this, the county grandfather flew into a rage and shouted, "Rude and crazy, how dare you tease this official in class and take responsibility for the 18th National Congress." Officials knocked the poet to the ground and fought until the 18th National Congress. The poet was very wronged and wrote another poem when he got home: "Write a poem of seventeen (that is, seventeen characters) and get eighteen boards." If you write a poem of10,000 words, kill it. " County grandfather became angry from embarrassment and sent the poet to Liaoyang for slander. When I left, the poet's cyclops uncle came to see me off. The poet wrote a poem: "Exile the army to Liaoyang and see my uncle like my mother;" Two people cry together, three lines. "In Liaoyang, I didn't expect local officials to like poetry, so I asked the poet to write poetry at home and my wife came to attend. The poet casually sang: "When the ring is jingling, the wife will leave the backyard; The golden lotus is three inches smaller. "

County grandfather listened, angry and funny.