A few years ago, when I first entered the company, I heard other colleagues talk about this woman. He is already a famous person in the circle at a young age: he is in a high position, with unlimited potential and excellent momentum.
Anyone who talks about her will relish a few examples:
Said she was smart and overbearing, to the letter; Said she likes to show off, spend money lavishly, love to dress up, be snobbish, and so on. Something meaningful to say: look at her. Although she is not beautiful, she is young and likes to dress up. In the leadership, except her, they are all men, and of course they are favored. ...
After listening to so much, I seem to take it seriously. So the more I look at her, the less pleasing to the eye, and I feel like a fox.
This spring, the department was adjusted. Unfortunately, this woman has become the head of our department.
When I first heard the news, I was so ambivalent, anxious and uneasy. It goes without saying that such a woman's occasional nodding acquaintance is already unpleasant, let alone meeting and getting along every day.
She came, but she brought a spring breeze that the previous leader had never had: she said she was overbearing and uncompromising. It turns out that people have long thought about every detail of their work, and the work plans and programs they have come up with have been well thought out, and ordinary employees can only take it orally;
She said that she likes to show off. It turns out that people treat people warmly without losing their discretion, and they don't get stage fright or show off on any occasion. Everyone who comes into contact with her is like a spring breeze;
It is said that she spends a lot of money because people not only have high income, but also manage money. In short, rich and willful, but not extravagant and wasteful, people spend their own money;
Finally, she is snobbish because she is efficient, doesn't talk nonsense and doesn't make irresponsible remarks behind her back. Only when she is with people who admire each other can she speak. As a result, ordinary people find her difficult to get close to.
I finally understand why senior leaders attach so much importance to her, not to mention men, even I, a woman, are impressed by her.
From this, I thought of a question: Why does the world evaluate the same woman so differently?
I can't help thinking of the experience of a famous woman in modern times. Her name is Lin.
The first time I heard this name, it seemed to be related to an unknown peach scandal: Xu Zhimo had a crush on Lin for a long time, but he never got a response from a beautiful woman. While Lin and Liang Sicheng were studying in the United States, suddenly one day, he received an affectionate overseas telegram from Lin, thinking that he had another chance. So with a burning heart, I rushed to the telegraph office to reply to the telegram, only to be told that I was the fifth person to receive the same telegram today.
Some folks joked: This is the earliest mass sending.
Therefore, I have never liked the name Lin.
Later, I saw Mr. Bing Xin's Our Wife's Living Room. The incisive description of talented women gives people an all-round understanding of his wife's living room: exquisite, graceful and colorful. At that time, talented literati were proud to join our wife's living room salon, and our wife, like the bright moon, was dazzling, and many men competed for her, even though her wife already had a husband and daughter.
After that, I searched many articles and said that Bing Xin's masterpiece satirized Lin, which made the image of this peerless beauty full of drama. People who have seen it are convinced of the situation of the characters described in the article, and naturally have a lot of complaints about Lin.
A woman, you are beautiful, so talented, and your life is interesting. The most important thing is that more than one talented and famous man loves you deeply and everyone will envy you.
Didn't Zhang Ailing have a sentence? No matter how good a woman is, if she can't get the love of a man, she can't get the respect of the woman next to her.
However, if there are too many men who love her and other women can't get the love of men, they naturally won't be jealous of such women.
Since then, I have basically held a black attitude towards Lin. Not to mention reading a few widely circulated jokes later, saying that Xu Zhimo abandoned his pregnant wife for her. As a result, Linda beauty felt that she could not bear such a heavy stigma and left her father without saying goodbye at night.
Second, Kim has never been married in his life. She went to ask Liang Sicheng and found that she fell in love with two people at the same time. I don't know what to do.
What's more, she said that she learned that Kim was going to marry someone else, so she looked out of the window and dressed herself in the mirror every day, which attracted Kim, who lived opposite, to be in high spirits. Naturally, her engagement broke off and she died alone for a beautiful woman.
I've read too many such stories. Even if I think I am objective and fair and will not be influenced by outside views, I will talk to Lin and shake my head and sigh. Although I don't like some people who insist that Iraqis are "green tea bitches", I really can't love them.
In April this year, the "Missing Dead" in The New York Times reissued Lin's obituary. The woman died prematurely half a century ago. This column specially published an article introducing the story of Lin and Liang Sicheng.
As the first generation architects in China, Lin and her husband Liang Sicheng made outstanding contributions to the modernization of China architecture. In the 1930s, when Our Wife's Living Room was written and published, Lin was dragging her husband who was suffering from tuberculosis and his legs were disabled, riding a donkey on a potholed mountain road in the western part of the motherland, enduring the invasion of fleas, dust and bats, and discovered the endless treasures of the ruined rivers and mountains of the motherland, and preserved them in his own way. ...
Seeing this, I can't help but have deep doubts. This forest seems to be far from the image I have always had in my mind. The world uses gossip to describe her as a green tea bitch with rich love history among many men, but few people mention her other side.
And I, with so many rumors about Lin in my mind, have never read her own words, let alone verify the truth of these rumors. I bought The Complete Works of Lin, Dream of Lotus Lake and other books about Lin, trying to find answers to my doubts.
"It's about the heart", and Lin's words brought me great shock and impact. Her tenacity in life, persistence in career and purity in faith gradually surfaced in these words:
Wei Wen ~ Lin dabbled in poetry, prose and novels. Her prose style is elegant and exquisite. Writing novels is lively; Needless to say, poetry is full of classics.
The most commendable thing is that compared with the female writers of the same period, Lin's writing is sharp and vigorous, and she pays more attention to the bitterness of the bottom people in the era of social unrest.
Outside the window, the back of the workers, mutual talk about the strong determination of faith, 99 degrees are humor and sadness. There are poems, like the wind in troubled times, which drive away the lotus flowers in readers' hearts.
Lin can be said to be a clear stream in the literary world of the Republic of China, but his fame is far less than that of others, because many works were not published in those years, or they were scattered. Visible Lin's ambition is not here.
As the first generation female architect in China, her achievements are rarely mentioned. Probably speaking of this, the head is boring and monotonous, there is no gimmick, and it can't attract attention.
But in fact, Lin and her husband used modern scientific methods to study ancient architecture in China, became pioneers in this field, and wrote many architectural works. She first put forward "architectural meaning"-in addition to "poetry" and "painting meaning", there is also a pleasure of "architectural meaning".
"Stone will nod, we dare not refute. I'm afraid the problem will involve physicists, but after being polished by great craftsmen and tempered by years, some stones do contain vitality. Perhaps it can be said that natural materials have been skillfully constructed by people, and then baptized by time, which has become the sum of art and historical geography, so that it can not but cause a special spiritual integration and conscious appreciation. "Miscellany of suburban plane buildings.
Man ~ someone asked, what about the Japanese invasion? Lin said, isn't the Yangtze River outside the door? Compared with the wartime when resources were scarce, some people used military vehicles to transport Simmons to sleep. Lin can be said to be a heroine among women. She took a family of 3 1 people into a carriage and traveled thousands of kilometers to Kunming.
The daughter asked her why she didn't choose Xu Zhimo. Lin said that Xu Zhimo didn't love me, but he loved Lin in his imagination, not me.
As a mother, she can stay up all night and take care of her children when they are sick. As a wife, she accompanied Liang Sicheng to study abroad and devoted all her energy to the construction industry. This is not just the husband singing along with the woman, but more importantly, you are excellent and I am also excellent. We are like twins, working together to light up the rest of our lives.
Previous scandals were later proved to be untrue: when overseas telegrams cost a sky-high price, sending several telegrams in groups, not only Lin and Liang Sicheng could not afford it, but Liang Qichao might also lose his shirt. What's more, at that time, Lin was completely sponsored by Liang Qichao because of her father's new funeral, and she didn't and couldn't have the strength to flirt.
The fact is that the domestic situation was turbulent at that time. Lin was worried about the safety of several friends and wrote to them to verify their safety. If she really had an affair with Xu Zhimo, why didn't she write a long letter and tell her heart? Instead, it was simpler than others and a few words?
As for Kim, it has long been confirmed that he has a cohabiting girlfriend, and even later, there is another one who is about to talk about marriage, just because he is seriously ill. When the old man is old, he chooses to die alone. Of course, in his later years, Liang Sicheng and Lin's children took care of him until the end of his life.
Back to the topic, why is the same woman judged differently?
This is a historical fact that can be verified with a little reference, but the world would rather believe those unfounded rumors than spend more time to find out the truth.
/kloc-In the 6th century, Bacon wrote an eternal famous saying in On Truth: People love lies not only because it is difficult to seek truth, but also because they are afraid that truth will restrict their thinking, but because they are a natural preference for lies themselves, or because lies can better cater to some bad human nature.
The world likes to ask around and actively spread seemingly empty gossip, and no one can judge whether it is true or not, which in itself caters to the innate love of ordinary people for lies, because sophistry can better satisfy some bad essence of our nature.
Especially the peach news about women, especially beautiful women, men and women will flock to it. The listener will enjoy it, the speaker will be vivid, and no one will verify the truth of the rumor. Doesn't it reflect bacon's famous assertion?
Lin has a poem that I like best:
If my heart were a lotus flower,
With lighted wax in the middle,
Yingying, although it's just that cut,
I also want it to show its glory proudly,
I'm not afraid it's just my personal lotus lantern,
Can't see the rough life before and after-
The ups and downs are attached to the waves of the sea of people.
Light and shade became its inner secret.
Just flashes and flowers—
Like a light kudzu leaves out of the river-
Turn it around and go with the flow.
Waiting for the wind to blow from a distance.
Be a traveler. In the universe,
Knowing this exquisite life and dying peacefully,
So is this erratic journey-
This is just a beautiful dream.
Perhaps, the more excellent a woman is, the stronger her heart is, and she has already surpassed the secular vision.
As a woman, I know how hard this life is. I hope everyone can light the lotus lanterns in their hearts, illuminate others and illuminate themselves.