It turns out that we all think that mothers just want to be with their children and can't live without them for a moment. Children who are not with their mothers will lack their mothers' care when they grow up. Without mother's care, they will cause psychological deficiency. When they grow up, they will either have regrets or go astray. Looking at "Sweeping the Black Storm", the evil ending in the TV series actually lies in the lack of mother's companionship and care, and a teenager goes astray. We praise the greatness of maternal love, and we regret the lack of maternal love, even if it is only an image.
One of my college classmates happened to come from the same city, so we met at the beginning of military training. As we all know, she is very cheerful and generous, full of enthusiasm for life, study and future, and is often active in various cultural activities at school. I always feel like an ugly duckling around her. Of course, she has given me a lot of help and likes to drag me around. Probably, in her life, the sun will never be covered by dark clouds. I thought this was the real her. It was not until the last trip before graduation that she told me that her mother died before the college entrance examination, just to give her a bowl of noodles, but she was angry. My first thought at that time was that she was so sad. However, she told me that she has always been very open to this matter. She knows that her mother will always be with her, and only when she is well can her mother feel at ease. She believes that her mother's love has always been around, keeping her warm, and she has not given up herself and her life because of her mother's departure. In fact, her eyes have been dodging, which makes me really feel her regret. You can't share with your mother when you are doing well, and you have nowhere to tell when you are sad.
At that time, I just thought from my own point of view that mothers should give everything for their children, including themselves. However, when I had a child and really became someone else's mother, I realized that the image of my mother was too great and seemed to be an obstacle.
Just after maternity leave, I returned to work. At the beginning, as soon as I tried to adjust my leadership, I stole four months of leisure. It's just the Spring Festival, and my work is busy again. The days of 5+2, white and black make me unable to keep up with the rhythm. When I go back at night, one leg is stretched out as a pillow for the child, and the other leg is used as a computer desk, changing materials while putting the child to sleep. When the child 1 year-old was 4 months old, he often had a fever because of working overtime. In desperation, he gave the child a chance to rest. In this way, by the time my child was over 3 years old, I gave the impression that my relatives were often away from home. Maybe many mothers will criticize me. How can you be so irresponsible to your children? In fact, I will take time to accompany my children, make study plans for them, and take them to study together. When I have time, I will step up my work and take them to the zoo. However, I didn't give up my job because I took care of him, I didn't interrupt my exercise and study because of him, and I didn't ask for leave from work or leave early again and again under the pretext of my children. Yes, I just don't treat children as my whole life.
I remember reading a post before, which generally means that if you show your confidence and upward efforts to your children, they will remember it clearly. This is his example and his pride. Therefore, don't give up your job because of children, and don't use children as an excuse to lose yourself. Do you want your child to see your delicate side, or do you want him to have a sloppy mother? Do you want your children to see your positive attitude, or do you want them to lose themselves in life like you?
We know that many women now choose to be full-time mothers. This does not mean that they choose depravity, laziness and sloppiness. Many of them, while taking care of their children and their families, maintain the habit of self-study, and some even get up at 5 am to read books and take notes and operate from the media; Some people manage their lives very well, and their omnipotent life skills have attracted a lot of praise from the Internet. Some also found their own hobbies, and after mastering them skillfully, they brought them economic independence. There are too many such examples in reality, which deserve our praise.
The child's father's eldest sister-in-law, who didn't have a job before getting married, wants to rely on your WeChat name. People, as their names suggest, are also like screen names. After marriage, I didn't work for three years because of my children. After the child went to kindergarten, we all thought that she was finally going to work. After all, every time I see him and his parents-in-law asking for money, it is very difficult. No matter what you do, you have some income and some space. Yes, she did. It's just that she came home after working as a cashier in Lifestyle Supermarket for a month. She said she was too tired to go to work. Now their children are almost 6 years old, and they are frightened every time they see them. They cry when they see people and hide behind their mothers. My clothes are sloppy, not to mention vegetable stains and oil stains. My clothes are worn out. We don't understand why a person is so slack when he doesn't go to work and takes care of his children full time. Later, my mother-in-law told me that she didn't work at home and had been playing with her mobile phone.
Whether a person is lazy is not measured by whether he works or not. Attitudes towards life and work are only different, but the core factors that determine the nature of things have not changed. These core factors will be injected into the blood of the next generation through subtle influence, not through heredity.
Returning to Wang Yaping and being separated from her children for half a year may make her and her children feel anxious, but it is an important opportunity in her life. If we can't separate from each other, it will affect the children's psychology and cause their future turmoil and anxiety, then should we give up? On the other hand, if you have a mother flying in the sky, will you feel very proud and excited because of the power of example? I think that's for sure. This is not only the talk of children now, but also the benchmark of future life. When she is in trouble, she can proudly take out a photo of her mother picking up the stars and tell herself that if her mother can do it, I will work hard. When life is confused, she can read the letter written by her mother in space and feel the love from outside the earth. That's unique.
Many of us feel that without the support of our parents, even if we have the ability to overcome difficulties, we may lack the courage to overcome them to a great extent. What is this support? It is not meaningless companionship that is tired of being together every day, nor is it sad for children to give up themselves. This is the power of benchmarking.
As mothers, we don't have to worry about separation or blame ourselves for not having too much company. We can believe that the greatest spiritual strength for children is higher quality maternal love.