Qinhuai river in the shadow of oars and lights.

1923 One night in August, Boping and I visited Qinhuai River together. Pingbo is a beginner, and I'll start over. We hired a "seven boards" and got off the boat after sunset and the bright moon came. So the oars gurgled, and we began to appreciate the taste of Qinhuai River, a river full of rosy history. The boats of Qinhuai River are better than those of Wanji Garden and Summer Palace in Beijing, the boats of West Lake and the boats of Slender West Lake in Yangzhou. The ships in these places are either stupid or simple and cramped; Can not arouse the feelings of passengers, like a boat on the Qinhuai River. There are two kinds of boats in Qinhuai River: one is a big boat; One is the ship, the so-called "seven boards". The large cabin is spacious and can accommodate twenty or thirty people. There are calligraphy and painting and bright mahogany furniture in it, and the tables are inlaid with cold marble surfaces. Window piece

The carving is quite fine, which makes people feel soft and greasy. Red and blue glasses are reflected on the pane; There are exquisite patterns on the glass, and the Qinhuai River in the shadow is quite pleasing to the eye. Although the scale of the "Seven Boards" is not as big as that of a big ship, the light blue railings and open cabins are also full of people's feelings. The best thing is in front of its hut. The front of the cabin is a part of the deck, with an arc roof supported by sparse columns on both sides. There are usually two rattan chairs in it. Lie down, you can talk about the sky, you can see the distance, and you can look at the river houses on both sides. There is this on the big boat, so it is more clear on the small boat. Under the roof in front of the hut, all the lights are hung; The quantity, brightness, fineness and brightness of lights are different. But at least I will always give you a lantern. This lantern is really the most attractive thing. When night fell, all the lights on the ship came on. Reflecting yellow astigmatism from double-layer glass, hazy haze appeared; Through this haze, bright ripples are aroused in the dark water waves. In this thin mist and slight ripples, who can not be introduced into his dream, listening to the long and intermittent sound of rowing? Too many dreams. How can these boats, large and small, be affordable? At this time, we are vaguely talking about the colorful traces of Qinhuai River in the late Ming Dynasty, such as Peach Blossom Fan and Banqiao Miscellanies. We are really fascinated. We seem to have seen the lights reflected on the water, and what the ship looked like when it was painted in Ling Bo. So our ship became the burden of history. At last, we suddenly saw the boats on the Qinhuai River. There are too many elegance elsewhere, and it is really because there are many historical images that it has a strange attraction.

The water of Qinhuai River is blue and turbid; Does it look thick but not greasy, or is it condensed from the gold powder of the Six Dynasties? When we first boarded the ship, it was still dark, and the rippling soft waves were so quiet and euphemistic that we wanted to have a vast sky while looking forward to drunkenness. At the beginning of the Hua Deng, the darkness turns into destruction: the hazy water surface is like a dream; The occasional flashing light is the eyes of a dream. We sat in front of the hut, because of the rising ceiling, as if we were always strutting forward; So, we, who are on cloud nine, look at the ships moored in the comfortable bay. The lantern-like figure on the ship is like the lower bound, out of reach, and hazy like looking at flowers in the fog. By this time, we had crossed the Oak Club Bridge and saw the East Junction. There were intermittent songs along the road: some floated from the prostitute building along the river, and some came from the boat on the river. We know that those songs are just words sung along with them, which are mechanically emitted from the original sound; However, they have been blown by the breeze and waves on a summer night. When they reach our ears gracefully, they are not only their songs, but also the whispers of the breeze and the river. So we have to be angered, shocked and immersed in this song. Turn at the corner in the east, and you will soon reach the Volkswagen Bridge. The Dazhong Bridge has three arches, all wide, just like three gates; Let us feel that our boat and when we pass under the bridge are really colorless. The bridge brick is dark brown, indicating that it has a long history; But they are all intact, which makes people worry too much about the firmness and beauty of ancient projects. A house with wooden walls on both sides of the bridge, there should be a street in the middle, right? These houses are dilapidated, and the traces of smoke and dust have blurred the beauty of that year. I imagine that a house was specially built on such a huge bridge at the height of Qinhuai River, and it must be beautifully painted. It must be brightly lit at night. Now there is only darkness left! But the house built on the bridge, after all, makes us more or less imagine the prosperity of the past; This is also a comfort. After crossing the Dazhong Bridge, we arrived at Qinhuai River, where the lights were brightly lit, the moon was bright and the songs were sung all night. This is the true face of Qinhuai River.

Outside the large and medium-sized bridge, it was suddenly empty, which was quite different from the families lined up on both sides of the bridge. At first glance, the sparse forest, the faint moon, against the blue sky, looks like a wild river crossing; There, dense and gloomy, seems to be endless darkness: almost unbelievable, it is the bustling Qinhuai River. However, the dim lights in the river, the vertical and horizontal painting boats, the melodious flute rhyme and the squeaky sound of the huqin finally let us know the Qinhuai River, which is as green as old wine. There are many streaking days here, and it feels late at night; From the sunny Shui Ying, what we feel is just a thin night-this is the night of Qinhuai River. Outside the Dazhong Bridge, there used to be a complicated bridge, which was the best place for us to travel in the boatman's mouth, or the best place for the prosperity of Qinhuai River. My foot once stepped on the ridge of the bridge, when I was thirteen or fourteen. However, I have visited Qinhuai River twice, but I have never seen the face of the bridge. Knowing that there is always a future, I often feel a little illusory. I think it's better not to read it. It was midsummer. After we got off the boat, the summer heat was gradually dispelled by the new cool night and the breeze on the river; When I arrived here, I was suddenly enlightened and my body suddenly became lighter-a cool breeze was blowing gently, lingering on my face, hands and clothes, which made me feel a new coolness again. The sunshine in Nanjing is probably not as fierce as that in Hangzhou; The summer nights in the West Lake are always hot and fluffy, and the water seems to be boiling, while the water in Qinhuai River is always so cold and green. Let your shadow fall and the song disturb you, as if separated by a thin layer of green yarn; It's always so quiet and cold green. When we got out of the Dazhong Bridge and couldn't walk half a mile, the boatman rowed the boat aside and stopped the paddle to let it fall. He thought it was the peak of prosperity, and then it was desolate; So enjoy it for a while. He squatted quietly by himself. He is used to this kind of situation, and he is only about one year old. This is all right, whether it is rising or sinking, it is higher than us in short.

At that time, the river was extremely hot; Most of the ships are moored, while the other half is shuttling on the water. All the berths are on the side near the city, and our ship is naturally caught in it. Because it's a little crowded here, I feel it's sparse there. When every ship passes by, we can draw its light and shadow and winding waves in our hearts; This is obviously empty and obviously static. At that time, there were songs and harsh harps everywhere, and that kind of mellow throat was really rare. But that crude and crisp tone will make people feel naive and crude, and it can also please us. Besides, listen to it every once in a while, because imagination and longing for beauty always feel more delicious; The noise of the competition, uneven rhythm, the chaos of distance and the harmony of musical instruments have combined another meaning, which also makes us feel at a loss, such as walking with the strong wind. This is really because our hearts have been dry for a long time and become fragile; So once in a while, you will be crazy and can't make a decision. But Qinhuai River is really boring. Just like the face in a boat, whether it is moored with us or passed before our eyes, it is always vague or even ambiguous; It's no use letting you wipe off the dirt with your eyes open. This is really enough to make people think. Where we parked, the lights were already crowded; But these lights are all yellow and dizzy. Yellow is no longer clear, plus dizziness, it is even more impossible. The more lights, the more dizzy; In the crisscross of yellow stars, Qinhuai River seems to be shrouded in a cloud of light and fog. The light and fog are dizzy, and everything is just an outline; So the detailed curve of the face disappeared before our eyes. But light can't take away the moonlight over there; The light is turbid, the moonlight is clear, and there is a clear glow in the chaotic light, but it is a miracle! The moon has dropped by two or three minutes that night. She put on her makeup very late. She put the willow branches on the ground. The sky is blue and lovely, like a pool of water; The moon is even more energetic. There are three or two poplars on the shore, and faint shadows are swaying in the water. Their slender branches are bathed in moonlight, just like the arms of a beautiful woman, intertwined and alternately held; Like the hair of the moon. And the moon occasionally peeks at us from their intersection, which is a little girl's shyness. There are also several unknown old trees standing naked on the shore; Shining in the moonlight, but looking like an old man in high spirits. In the distance-almost the skyline, there are only one or two white clouds as bright as beautiful shells. Under the white clouds is a dark outline; This is an irregular curve drawn randomly. This scene is quite different from the smell in the river. But the lamp and the moon can coexist and blend, making the moon a lingering moon, and the lamp emits faint light; This is the reason why the Qinhuai River is thick, and it is also the reason why we are thick.

At this time, I met a thorny dispute. There used to be a geisha on the Qinhuai River, which was based on songs. I used to sing Daqu on a tea boat. Every afternoon from 1 o'clock; When did it stop, but I forgot. One night, it was also in the yellow light. When I was in Nanjing, I went there twice with my friends. Because there are too many faces in the tea boat, I feel uncomfortable, and finally I can't recognize why. The year before last, I heard that geisha were banned. Somehow, I thought about it several times-but I couldn't think of anything. This time I went to Nanjing, I went to the tea boat first, and I felt quite lonely and inexplicably disappointed. Unexpectedly, they are still struggling in Qinhuai River. I didn't expect them to pester us. I was embarrassed. They also ride the seven boards. They always sit in front of the hut. The oil gas lamp was lit in front of the cabin, and the light was dazzling: the people sitting below were naturally seen-the power to lure guests was here. Musicians and others hid in the hut, writhing in the afterglow of the steam lamp; They will never be noticed. There are about two geisha on each ship; As soon as it got dark, their boat kept doing business outside the Dazhong Bridge. No matter whether the ship is sailing or berthing, it must come around. This is all inferred by me later. That night, somehow, it suddenly took our boat. Our boat is resting, and a Song boat is rowing towards us. Gradually merge with our ship. The light of graupel makes us frown; It shows us all our sex lives, which makes me feel uneasy. At this time, a buddy came across the boat, took the unfolded song, stuffed it into my hand and said, "Count it out!" " When he came over, there seemed to be many eyes on our boat. At the same time, other ships nearby seem to have many bright eyes staring at our ship. I am so embarrassed! I also pretended to be generous and took a look at the geisha, but it was useless! I finally turned over the song and didn't see a few words clearly; He quickly returned it to the guy and said shyly, "No, we ..... don't." He gave it to Pingbo. Pingbo turned his head and waved his hand and said, "No!" Men are still tired of not walking. Pingbo turned around again, shook his head and said, "No!" So the man came back to me. I turned him down again in embarrassment. He left with disdain. My heart immediately put down, like a heavy burden. We began to confess.

I said that I was oppressed by moral laws and rejected them; I feel very sorry in my heart. This so-called sorry, on the one hand, to them, on the other hand, to myself. Although they don't have much hope for us, there is always hope. We rejected them, no matter how good the reason was, but their hopes were hurt; There's always a problem. This makes me feel very disappointed. As for myself, I have a sense of inadequacy. At this time, I was tempted by songs from all directions and surrendered; But in far, far away places, singing always seems to tickle through heavy clothes, and the more you scratch, the less you can scratch. So I look forward to the sweet sound that sticks to my ear. When the Song boat came, my desire turned into hope; I look forward to it stubbornly, like hunger and thirst. Although it can be inferred from shallow experience, the singing that sticks to the ear will strip away all the beauty; But ordinary people like me, who wants to uglify the future with the power of reason? I would rather lie to myself. But my social sensitivity is very keen; My mind can knock down the mirror of moral law, but my feelings are finally overwhelmed by it, so I have some scruples, especially when everyone knows it.

The power of moral law is originally given by the people; In front of the people, nature shows its majesty. At this time, while I was looking forward to it, I felt the double prohibition: first, in the popular sense, approaching prostitutes is finally an improper behavior; Second, prostitutes are an unhealthy profession, so we should be sorry for them and should not listen to their songs cheerfully. Under the eyes of the public, these two ideas are the most vigorous in my heart. They temporarily overwhelmed my hope of listening to music and made my gray refusal. At that time, my heart was really in an abnormal state and I felt quite confused. Song ship has gone, and in a short time, my thoughts are like a flood. Two diametrically opposite meanings go back and forth in my mind: selling songs is different from prostitution, and listening to songs is different from being a prostitute. What is the moral problem? -but, however, since they are forced to take songs as their profession, their songs have no artistic flavor; In view of their origins, we really should sympathize with them. So it is right to refuse. But these meanings did not shelve my hope of listening to the song at last. Its power is extremely powerful; It always wants to step on other ideas. From this heavy struggle, I feel a strong sense of inadequacy. This feeling of inadequacy makes me restless and fidgety when I sit up. Alas! I admit that I am a selfish person! However, Pingbo and I are different. He quoted Mr. Zhou's poem: "Because I have a wife, I love all women;" Because I have children, I love all children. " His meaning is evident. He refused geisha because of his sympathy, his love for them and his respect for them. In this case, he naturally thinks that listening to music is an insult to them. But he also wants to listen to music, although unlike me, so in his heart, of course, there is also a small struggle; The result of the struggle was to win sympathy. As for the moral law, he has nothing; Because he tends to despise everything, he doesn't realize the power of the people. At this time, his spiritual activities are relatively simple and weak, and he is very comfortable after listening to the story; I can't. Pingbo is taller than me here again.

In the middle of our conversation, two more opera houses came. The man invited us to play as before, and we refused as usual. I was embarrassed three times, and my anxiety was even worse. The bright night scene also brightens it. The boatman urged us to go back because we had to go on a second business trip. We agreed on everything. We gradually moved away from those dim lights, and only some moonlight followed us home coldly. We have no company, and the Qinhuai River is long at night! Near the Volkswagen Bridge, I met a boat. This is a ship carrying prostitutes. It is dark and there is no light. There is a prostitute sitting on the bow; Just see, white blouse, black clothes. She is holding a huqin in her hand and singing a blue tune in her mouth. She sings loudly and roundly; When her boat passed like an arrow, the sound still lingered in our ears, let us listen and yearn. I didn't expect to enjoy such a clear song in the fleeting time! At this time, the ship crossed the bridge, and the dense Shui Ying, like the mouth of Zhang Zhu in the dark, was about to swallow our ship. We look back at the misty yellow light, which is beyond persistence; We feel lonely! This part of the place is very dark, and two lights invite it; Needless to say, there are lights outside the bridge, and there are scattered lights at Dongguan Head after crossing the bridge. We suddenly looked up and saw any Su Yue, and we were deeply sorry for coming back too early! After crossing the east corner, there are one or two big ships moored in the bay, and several ships are coming towards us. A burst of singing and laughing seems to be laughing at our lonely boat without companions. At the turn of the east corner, the night on the river is thicker; There is always a ray of light coming out of the cracks in the curtains on the prostitutes' upstairs near the water; As if the darkness woke up from a deep sleep. We looked at each other silently, listening to the gurgling paddle, and almost fell asleep; In the gloom, I am looking for the prosperous aftertaste of the right person. My restless heart is becoming more and more active in silence! At this time, we all feel inadequate, and mine is stronger. But we don't want to go back, we can only regret disappointment. The ship was full of disappointment. It was not until the slightly noisy voices under the bridge that I suddenly realized; Things are different. In the river room on the right bank, the windows are wide open and there are dazzling lights. The light of the electric lamp shines on the water, winding and shining, just like the arm of a dancing fairy. Our ship is already in her arms; Just like sleeping in a cradle, you fall asleep when you are tired. The characters under the electric light only feel like ants and don't miss them. This is the last dream; Unfortunately, it is the shortest dream! Darkness came before us again and again, and we saw the dim and swaying lights on the empty boat on the shore. Our dream woke up and we knew we were going ashore; Our hearts are full of disillusionment. ......