New material composition "Dividing Oranges"
Read the text below and write an article of no less than 800 words as required. (60 points)
Two children got an orange and they fought over it. It was finally agreed that one child would be responsible for cutting the oranges and the other would get to choose the cut oranges first. They each got half of the oranges according to the agreed method and took them home happily. After a child came home, he peeled off the peel of half an orange and threw it away, then squeezed the pulp into juice and drank it. Another child came home, scooped out the pulp and threw it away, keeping the skin and grating it, mixing it with flour and baking cakes to eat.
What associations or insights does the above text evoke in you? Please write an article based on your associations or insights, no less than 800 words.
It is required to choose the correct angle, clarify the idea, choose the style of your own, and draft your own title; do not compose outside the scope of the content and meaning of the material, do not copy, and do not plagiarize.
Ideas
This is a new material composition test question. The material is selected from the "Stones from Other Mountains" column on the sixth page of "China Education News" on November 24, 2009. The original title is "The Management Philosophy of Dividing Oranges". The content is that two children were fighting for an orange, and after negotiation they reached an agreement to share it equally, but the result was that they did not get the most ideal ending and the best effect. The central meaning of this story is: Full and effective communication is the prerequisite for maximizing the use of the value of things; while the lack of effective communication will cause a waste of the value of things. Before dividing the oranges, the two people were very clear about their own needs. One wanted the peel and the other wanted the flesh. Their goals were also very clear. During the process of dividing the oranges, the two people also had a certain degree of cooperation and negotiation - but In the end, they failed to maximize their interests - each got everything they wanted, but only half of what they wanted, and the other half was wasted. The key to the problem is that the needs of two people are complementary, and maximizing their respective interests is not only possible, but also necessary. However, why could such a natural thing not be accomplished and cause unnecessary waste? The reason is that the two parties failed to communicate effectively during the cooperation process; if both parties can tell each other their needs, the result will definitely be happy.
Based on the above analysis, we set the best idea for this composition as: full and effective communication in cooperation.
There are various angles of entry. Focusing on the premise of materials, it can be expressed as "full communication is the prerequisite for cooperation"; focusing on the ethical results of materials, it can be expressed as "each gets what he needs on the basis of communication" and "adequate communication in advance can achieve better cooperation." "Communication, exchange, win-win" "To make the best use of people's talents and make the best use of materials, effective communication is necessary"; focusing on the cutting of oranges in the material, it can be expressed as "A seemingly fair distribution may not necessarily achieve people's success" Or the maximum value (maximum interest) of things”, “cannot blindly pursue formal fairness”, “cannot only seek fairness without seeking actual results”; focusing on the negotiation of two children, it can be expressed as “democratic negotiation may not always achieve "The best effect" "Lack of sufficient communication often fails to achieve the most complete solution to the problem"; focusing on the dispute between two children, it can be expressed as "blind fighting often makes people unable to see the essence of the problem"; Focusing on the comprehensive behavior of the two children in the material, it can be expressed as "saying your thoughts loudly to each other" and so on - as long as it can be connected with communication and the intention is to cooperate and communicate, it can be regarded as one category.
This essay question is very difficult to review. Looking at the whole, there is no obvious tendency; looking for the tendency between the lines, what you get is a trap: "fighting to fight" gives people the impression that you should not blindly compete for some small things; "reaching an agreement" and "being happy" "It shows that the result is not bad, and both parties are satisfied with the cutting of the oranges; "squeezing it into juice and drinking it" and "bake a cake and eating it" also feel quite comfortable, showing the joy of cooperation and win-win. This situation is not common in the college entrance examination in recent years.
It is also difficult to select materials. Most of the celebrity allusions that students usually use are not suitable. Only those candidates who pay attention to reality and think about life can find suitable exercises from daily life. material, and those writer candidates who are accustomed to complaining without any reason must feel at a loss.
Evaluation Notes
1. Review questions. Since the central meaning of the material is relatively hidden, candidates make a wide variety of mistakes in their conception of the questions. More often than not, we only talk about cooperation (goal and direction) but not communication, or the article also talks about communication, but the focus of the article is cooperation (goal and direction). For example, "Cooperation will bring benefits, competition will bring harm", "Cooperation will win", "Sincere cooperation", etc.; or just talk about the importance of goals, such as "Goals are more important than methods", "If the goal is not clear, even if the method is appropriate, it will not work." Get the best results" etc. These are only classified into Category II volumes.
Although there are also some topics that are related to the material, they obviously deviate from the meaning of the topic material, such as blindly praising democratic consultation, or saying that fairness is good and both parties are happy in everything; or "harmony is better than "Everything is important", or talking about choice, value, environmental protection, and making the best use of things. These are all good and related to the material, but they are too far away from the central meaning of the topic material.
2. Express the problem. During the marking process, we will find that even if some essays are reviewed accurately and have the right intention, their scores are not very high. This is mainly a problem of expression, such as:
① Poor overall planning and insufficient article format. Some compositions have good intentions, but they are not finished, or even only half completed.
② Poor thinking and stumbling in expression. This kind of composition can mostly be seen from the smears on the roll surface.
③The article is full of vernacular, and the language lacks literary grace. In the whole article, in the rapid "scan" of the marking teacher's eyes, it is difficult to find good rhetoric, good sentence patterns, accurate and meaningful idioms, and quotations that highlight certain cultural heritage.
④Limited ability, forcefully forced. For example, an essay numbered 29277 is also named "Choice". Let's put aside its intention. Just look at this sentence, and you can find that the author is not able to do what he wants in terms of "writing": "Choice is a scale, weighing Rating the autumn colors; choice is a branch of cold plum, fragrant to the cardamom years; choice is a ray of breeze, blowing the impetuous soul." It can be said that this candidate has a strong sense of "beautiful writing", but his skills are too poor, so he can only forcefully insert such lame and nondescript metaphors into the article. Just like applying low-quality powder on the face, it makes people feel uncomfortable and uncomfortable. Generally speaking, good sentences can be "picked up at the fingertips", but to reach the state of "faithfulness", you need to recite more, imitate more, figure out more, and understand more. It will not help if you don't practice for exams.
⑤ The idea plus materials lacks analysis and argumentation, making it difficult to produce strong persuasiveness; although the idea is accurate, the materials used cannot prove the point of view, making the mistake of "not being able to deduce" logically. In terms of "characteristics", it is not "profound", "rich", "literary" or "innovative", but superficial in a matter-of-fact manner and dry and lacking in emotional moisture. The score is not high, which is reasonable.
⑥Choose writing styles that you are not good at. There are a few poems and some half-written or half-written articles. Due to their limited level, they are not easy to control and make people uncomfortable to read, so they do not score high.
⑦ Some articles are very literary, and the author's ability to control words can be seen from them, which demonstrates the author's rich cultural heritage. However, the theme of the writing is quite different from the meaning of the material. The marking teacher cannot help but wonder, how could such a high level of writing skills make low-level mistakes in reviewing questions? Is it a model essay that was recited before the exam, copied from Su Gou? Is it too lacking in adaptability?
In addition, there are other reasons for losing points, such as untidy paper pages, typos, etc. Some typos are purely writing mistakes caused by the examinee's carelessness and are completely avoidable. Again, we warn students to form serious habits and avoid unnecessary loss of points.
Exhibition Review of Excellent Works Ⅰ
Equality does not equal fairness
Anonymous
After the primary school teacher distributed candy to everyone, would you Think, the apple in his hand tastes better than the peach in my hand? After a middle school teacher distributes reading materials, do you think that the science and technology books in his hands are better than my comic books? After sharing the rice and oil at your workplace, do you think, I need the rice in his hand more?
Maybe you have too many similar problems in your life. It's like two children dividing an orange. After one person gets half, one child only takes the flesh, the other only takes the peel, and the rest is wasted. They think it should be fair after each person is divided equally, but in fact, it is not always the case. Sometimes, equality does not mean fairness. When sharing the candy book, two people may look at the things in each other's hands and both think: I need the one in his hand more. However, why not communicate and discuss with each other before dividing things, and then make corresponding decisions? Although both people think this division is equal, they do not get everything they need, so it is not fair.
In these things, although people have received full "fair treatment" spiritually and the material quantity is equal, the material quality is not entirely fair. This is a sign of lack of communication and imperfect management. When doing business, businessmen all pursue maximizing profits. This does not mean getting the most, but satisfying personal needs to the greatest extent. Therefore, there will always be multiple discussions and communication before the transaction to earn the maximum benefit and exchange resources with each other. This is true fairness and making the best use of everything. The same is true for administration. When allocating personnel, it is not to allocate the highest academic qualifications to the most important positions, but to optimize talent resources under proper talent management and professional matching. This is true fairness and people can make the best use of their talents. In order to make equality equal to fairness, before making a decision, we should be fully prepared with good communication, meticulous research, and perfect management to make the best use of things, make the best use of people's talents, treat others equally, and treat things fairly. Nowadays, some resources are in short supply and some areas are lacking in materials. We should make equality equal to fairness, so that resources can be fully utilized and no resources are wasted. In society, political interests, economic interests, cultural interests, etc. should be distributed fairly and reasonably to everyone, everyone has equal rights, reasonable distribution, and judicial justice. Let people truly feel that the government and the country have created an equal and fair environment for everyone, with democratic management and fair distribution.
I hope that the next time he divides the oranges, he can get all the pulp he wants, and he can also get all the peels he wants.
This article in Mock Review may seem plain but it is rich in content, rigorous in thinking, and has distinctive features in the introduction and conclusion.
In terms of content, the author starts from the perspective of "fairness". He not only talks about the primary and secondary school life that everyone has experienced, but also analyzes the small things in life based on the material, and even extends it to the social and political fields, such as doing Bargaining in business includes administrative personnel allocation, allocation of social resources, equal rights, judicial justice, etc. It can be said that the material of the article is taken from all aspects of society, which is rich and colorful. In this way, it is not only easy to make the article close to reality and pay attention to society, but also very easy to sublimate and deepen the theme from the shallower to the deeper. So this item is worth 20 points.
In terms of expression, the language of this article is plain, but behind the plainness is rigorous thinking. In terms of writing structure, the article does not directly state its own opinions at the beginning, but uses a series of questions to tactfully arouse the reader's thinking. This way of opening is easier to win the reader's trust, and it is easier to put the topic into perspective. The article leads from the specific to the general. After arousing the readers' thinking, the author let go and demonstrated the benefits of communication from all aspects and angles. At the end, with just one sentence, the writing style immediately returned to the material, suddenly. Stop, never be sloppy, and make people afraid of being overwhelmed! The score for this item is therefore 19 points.
In terms of development levels, this article has high aspirations, rich content, sufficient arguments, profound and persuasive arguments. This item is worth 20 points.
The only drawback is that the content of the third paragraph of the article is too complicated and can be divided into several short paragraphs to elaborate separately.
Based on the above highlights and shortcomings, according to the scoring rules, the score is as follows: 20 points for content + 19 points for expression + 20 points for development = 59 points.
Exhibition Review of Excellent Works II
Don’t lose yourself in disputes
Anonymous
Sometimes, we always look at the gains and losses in front of us. Too heavy makes us forget our original direction. Sometimes, we fight fiercely for a little benefit, but it makes us lose more. Sometimes, we are like those two children fighting for an orange. Because of the dispute, we lost half of the peel or pulp.
When we encounter a situation like the two children in the article again, why can't we calm down and talk about it. After talking quietly, we can each get what we need.
At the recently concluded Copenhagen Global Climate Conference, discussions among all parties were very lively. However, in the end, no agreement was reached that was satisfactory to all parties. The scale of this conference, which is crucial to mankind, was unprecedented, and in the end there was no substantive breakthrough at all.
The reason why all parties are in a stalemate and arguing endlessly is that no one wants to lose their own interests. Developed countries are unwilling to provide funds and technology to developing countries, and developing countries are unwilling to close their polluting factories.
However, if everyone can calm down and think about it, we can actually do what we need. Developed countries yearn for a better climate environment, while developing countries are in urgent need of funds and technology. If the two sides had stopped arguing and made clear what they really needed, this conference would have become a landmark conference in human history.
As big as the whole world, as small as each of you and me. Einstein and Bohr had a famous debate on quantum mechanics in history. However, this fierce debate that lasted for several months ended up with the two sides breaking up on bad terms. As a result, the two became enemies and had little academic contact. Today, a hundred years later, when we look back at the debate of the century, we find that the views of both sides at that time actually had problems, but they were both correct to a certain extent.
If the two people a hundred years ago could put aside their past grievances, calm down and stop arguing, and work hard for the same scientific ideals, it might become a good story in the history of science.
Not only those masters and great men, but also ordinary people like us.
No more quarreling with parents over trivial family matters, no more arguing with colleagues over who does more and less, and no more arguing with classmates over the solution to a problem.
When we put aside those disputes, when we understand each other and our own true thoughts and needs, we can get the "flesh" of the other half that may not have been available.
Mock review This is a narrative article that is mixed with narrative and discussion. The advantages are very obvious - strong reality, clear thinking, and natural connection.
In terms of content, after getting the arguments from the materials, this article turns its attention to the just-concluded Copenhagen Conference, focusing on reality and getting closer to reality, making readers feel that the truth discussed in the article is not far from us, and it is very meaningful. practical significance. Then the examples of Einstein and Bohr were used to illustrate the harm of not letting go of disputes and communication. This example is not known to many people, and it also shows some new ideas. This score is 18 points.
In terms of expression, the language is fluent and the connection and transition are also done well. "As big as the whole world, as small as each of you and me" "Not only those masters and great men, but also ordinary people like us." "Same", these transitional paragraphs make the article very natural in connection and transition, which is very conducive to advancing the content of the article layer by layer, and also conducive to the deepening of the argumentation process layer by layer. This score is 19 points.
In terms of development level, in addition to the advantages of rich content and close integration of materials, the article also has the biggest highlight - strong reality, clear ideas, and clear transitions. This score is 19 points.
However, the shortcomings of the article are also obvious. It is somewhat reluctant to simply attribute the failure of the Copenhagen Conference to a lack of communication. The dispute between Einstein and Bohr may not be resolved by simple communication. In other words, the material cannot fully prove the argument. It is obviously the author's fault. This is caused by a lack of consideration when selecting materials.
Based on the above highlights and shortcomings, according to the scoring rules, the score is as follows: 18 points for content + 19 points for expression + 19 points for development = 56 points.
Crazy links
Although an article is not brilliant everywhere, it is not lacking in highlights, and some paragraphs are even brilliant. Now I will excerpt the wonderful clips discovered during the marking process and share them with all readers.
1. How about the snow disaster in the south? We are holding on; what about the earthquake disaster? We join hands; what about melamine? We are thinking about ourselves; so what if the H1N1 epidemic is raging? Our internal governance attaches great importance to communication in China, which is no longer the arrogant and self-proclaimed China of more than 100 years ago.
Through communication, we are united; through communication, we are strong; through communication, we are rich; through communication, we are complete. (Zhengzhou Middle School, Liu Rundong)
——Although the direction is not as satisfactory as expected, and the viewpoint materials are inevitably a little sloppy, but if you can keep the key word "communication" in every sentence, you no longer have to worry. The marking teacher made a misjudgment.
2. When the flower shakes off the last drop of dew before dawn, it tells us to think calmly and negotiate carefully through the sad air.
When the morning sun breaks away from the embrace of the night and erases the last remaining star, it lets the sunshine tell us that we must understand what the other person wants and what we want.
When the breeze blows through the strings of the night, the sound of the piano echoes in the air, telling us that through communication and negotiation, resources can be optimally allocated.
Every wise man who has watched all the flowers blossom and fall along the long river of history understands in his heart that even if we cannot tacitly agree, we can still sit down and negotiate slowly, and perhaps we can get the best of both worlds. (Zhengzhou Middle School, Liang Yulu)
——This is the beginning of an article. It is characterized by juxtaposed paragraphs, short and powerful; beautiful language and overlapping rhetoric; "negotiation" and "communication" are key There are words in every paragraph. It's so radiant at the beginning, even if there are many flaws later, they will be covered up to varying degrees.
3. Losing and gaining are just a thought. Just like those two children who quarreled over an orange and after reaching an agreement, they thought they had got what they wanted. In fact, they both only got half of what they wanted, and the other half was wasted pointlessly. , if they can all open their hearts and communicate, they will get everything they want and avoid unnecessary waste. (Zhengzhou Middle School, Zhao Ting)
——The analysis is in place and convincing. Materials are the foundation of our composition ideas. Only by in-depth analysis of the materials can we draw conclusions that are in line with the actual meaning of the materials and achieve the best ideas. Materials are the best example. Some students always put the materials on the shelf and look for them elsewhere. As everyone knows, that is a typical case of seeking the far distance instead of the near.
4. People have become accustomed to using their own thinking to speculate on others. What they will do in the current situation, they also speculate that others will do the same. However, everyone's situation is very different, and judging others by oneself often leads to misjudgment. At this time, communication becomes extremely important.
But society still lacks communication. People who live in a busy city used to live in a large courtyard. Although it was noisy, it felt pretty good. Now, everyone has moved into a new house in a high-rise building. After living there for a long time, they still don’t know the name of the neighbor across the door, even if they meet on the corridor. , they are also strangers. As the saying goes, distant relatives are not as good as close neighbors. But now, society has developed, transportation has become more convenient, and communication channels have become richer. The communication between people has realized Laozi's vision of a small country with a small population. There is only a floor between them, and there is no contact between the old and the old. (Zhengzhou Middle School, Yuan Fang)
——Dig deep into the roots and combine it with reality, which is both profound and cordial.