Surprisingly quiet at night, everyone has fallen asleep, but Tao Yuanming tossed and turned, making it difficult to sleep. He is full of thoughts and is engaged in an unprecedented fierce ideological struggle in the choice of life. It's hard to imagine that a person who has experienced all the storms would be so haggard, and the long night left him alone suffering mentally and wandering in the front line of collapse.
After a long time, the candlestick in the humble room slowly lit up. In the flickering candlelight, the sweat on his forehead was scattered with a big pearl. It seems that as long as he moves a little, he will instantly converge into a stream and rush straight down, so that he has to follow the example of the mummy of ancient Egypt, sit still and wait for the heavy air to solidify him ... until a few hairs gently shake, he is surprised to find that this man who is over 60 years old is covered with beautiful hair and smells of death. After a silence, he suddenly took a deep breath, immediately dispelled some worries and loosened his locked eyebrows. He thought that the most painful thing for a swift horse is not meeting Bole all his life. Since there is a heart that serves the country but no one appreciates it, what good is it for me to bury myself in this small office for nothing and be unhappy all day? On second thought, he felt it was time to decide something with a clear conscience. Yes! After several ups and downs of officialdom, there were more than a dozen spring and autumn periods in a flash. I have long been used to the change of human feelings and tired of the indifference of the world. What can I miss? It's time to love and miss Lao Lin.
The midnight wind blows coldly, blowing the thin figure back and forth, as if to remind Lao Tao to think twice, and then the dusty past floats in front of him. The night light turns on at five o'clock, just like students all over the world. After ten years of cold window, people gradually disappear. With pure desire, they only made an oath to the sky to inspire themselves when they came to the first place one day, and they still remember it today. No one has asked under the window for ten years, and it is famous all over the world. Finally, thanks to the kindness of the emperor, I am excited to plan a bright future, thinking that with all my knowledge, I will definitely benefit one party and serve the country, boasting that Haikou will be an official loved by the people, with a reputation big enough to show his parents, win fame after his death, and even fantasize about the scenery that one day he will return to his hometown in clothes and be warmly welcomed by the villagers. However, whenever the beautiful vision is contrary to the background of the times, the cruel reality is doomed to come mercilessly-the dream is shattered. Hey! The ambition of youth, with the passage of time, has long been helplessly submerged in the noise of Nuo Nuo's ruling and opposition parties. Now there are only camel breasts left. Can it not be a sigh? In the face of all the jokes made by history, Lao Tao couldn't help hating the original work, only blaming himself for his "wishful thinking" about fame and fortune, muttering over and over again: Am I wrong or is the world wrong? Tone choked, maybe only the bright moon in the sky can be seen by outsiders. I don't know when my eyes are wet with candlelight, so I have to hold my forehead with my hands and pretend to meditate. He doesn't want to anymore. The past made him miserable. I'm afraid only Du Kang can survive. This time, he will get drunk! So after drinking a full pot, I finally closed my eyes that I had just tried to open wide and lay in a daze in the liquor.
The next day, Lao Tao finally made an exception, no longer fiddling with that majestic official uniform, but dressed casually, not as formal as before. He hummed and paced back and forth, looking so carefree and disdainful of the dark career of intrigue. In this world that belongs to him, you can search unscrupulously and get into the pile of books; You can indulge in reading sage articles without seeking answers to entertain yourself; You can also have a cup of fragrant teas, close your eyes, imagine the hole leading to the Peach Blossom Garden at will, completely forget the complicated things and act like an outsider. This long-lost pleasure is hard to break even if the county magistrate outside is embarrassed to rush you. This small step he took became an unforgettable and heroic step towards the turning point in his life.
A few months later, it happened that Du You went to the county. The court officials have this leisure and have no intention of official business. Subordinates are naturally to blame. What's more, if Du You is snubbed and the powerful people are offended, he may make a fuss about it, which is quite unfavorable. County officials made it clear that all the interests were involved, so Lao Tao had to bite the bullet and prepare to see him in person. Seeing his sad face, the county magistrate quickly covered his hands and said in a low voice, "You should watch with restraint, and adults had better show their mind ...". As he spoke, he motioned to him from time to time with his other hand. Lao Tao understood, but he was sad to think that he was loyal anyway and now he had to deal with the ink collector. But after thinking for a moment, I firmly believe that this is an insult, and I feel more and more unable to do it, because it deeply hurts the bottom line of value left by my parents. So he said sternly, "I can't bend down and ask the children in the village for five measures of rice, even if Xiao Peng Lingze doesn't do it!" " Over the years, just because he couldn't stand the so-called hidden rules of officialdom, he hit a wall everywhere, suffered cold eyes and was forced to resign several times. He couldn't figure out why there would be a scene of intrigue in officialdom. The long-term accumulated depression in his heart made him want to leave early, so he resigned and returned to China that day. Character determines fate, who makes him more and more good? For him, resignation is just a new beginning in life. More importantly, he can finally get rid of the mire of officialdom and return to nature. He can't come back, because he decided that only the life of "picking chrysanthemums under the hedge and seeing Nanshan leisurely" was what he really longed for, and he didn't want anything else. It was this heroic step that made him finally find his own direction at the fork in the road of life, and it was this successful positioning that made him a great pastoral poet in the history of China literature, although he failed to fulfill his wish to return home.
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Another night was surprisingly quiet, a candlestick lit up slowly, but there was no more tense and suffocating atmosphere, only the pleasure of writing, the aroma of homemade wine and the satisfaction of rural life, all of which originated from that heroic life.