My daughter did not react differently to my farewell to her mother. She just said goodbye to us at the door and went inside.
We boarded the train bound for Guangzhou. In the hazy sleepiness of the carriage, I remembered a farewell to my mother more than ten years ago.
Dongyuan Middle School was brought here by my mother. Although it is not far from my hometown, it takes more than 3 hours to travel because my hometown is located deep in the Xinfengjiang Reservoir and the transportation is inconvenient. .
My mother sent me to the dormitory on the fifth floor, repeating the same explanation naggingly, and then seemed to be waiting for something. It wasn't until a few years later that I knew and understood what my mother was waiting for.
I quickly integrated into the collective environment of the dormitory and started chatting with classmates who were still strangers.
My mother and I said goodbye at the door of the dormitory. I didn’t notice the expression on my mother’s face at that time. I was only focused on getting to know my new classmates.
As the night fell, the students began to quiet down, and my heart also saw some ripples invisible during the day because of the tranquility.
I took out a bottle of water from my backpack. It was cold boiled water that my mother packed in an ice tea bottle. It was brought from my hometown thousands of miles away, but I didn’t even drink a sip.
I felt a thin sharp knife piercing my weak heart. It hurt, and my heart felt as if it had collapsed. Maybe it was because my mother missed me when she returned to my hometown. I suddenly felt homesick and missed everything in my hometown.
In order to live up to my mother’s thoughtful care, I opened the bottle and took a sip of water.
I closed my eyes and found that I never dared to open them again, because I was afraid that tears would break down the only line of defense of my eyelids.
Many years later, my mother said: At that time, I really wanted you to give me one as a gift.
I clutched my heart and tried to understand my mother’s words. I pondered softly, and then asked myself severely: Why was I so ignorant at that time?
Perhaps, the moment she turned around and left at the door of the dormitory, her reluctance made her steps seem a little heavy.
Perhaps, she was holding back her tears as she walked out to take the car alone, and looked back from time to time to see if her son would show up.
Perhaps, it’s like the first time we two brothers went to the town to study many years ago. After mom said goodbye to us, she returned home and lay on the bed like a child and cried. Mom later said that after the two of you went to town to study together, the house became too quiet.
When I was a child, I was really ignorant and couldn’t understand the weight of family affection. And the longing after parting made it even heavier.