When a person's spirit is destroyed to the limit, his personality will be distorted and split, resulting in various mental diseases, even suicide or murder.
I was abandoned several times for family reasons when I was a child, and then I went home and got the care of my parents.
My mother is very emotional, bad-tempered and controlling. I must listen to her completely. Right or wrong, I am not allowed to disagree or resist. I was scolded for responding to her for half a minute, and she called me more vicious (forgive me for using the word vicious, that's what happened at that time).
Often beaten and scolded, beaten and crying, anger can not be expressed.
Growing up in such an environment, I feel inferior, introverted, timid and extreme.
When I was a child, I had a favorite cat, which was driven away by my mother. That was the first time I felt that the sky was falling and I didn't talk to anyone for nearly a month. This cat has made me cry for more than ten years.
In addition to the trauma of being abandoned and unloved, I have another trauma that I am extremely afraid of losing.
Then I was depressed for ten years. I tried to die many times, but I died. I can't remember those days. Everything is a pit, which is unfortunate.
The pain makes my back ache. The pain is indescribable, just like my back is embedded in a fine net. Once I feel sleepy, it starts to cling to the pain. Pain in my flesh and blood, in my bones, seems to have been bitten by countless insects, but it seems to be scratching your heart, so I can't go crazy and growl.
I often think that if only people could stay up late. If only I were a living dead man. However, fortunately, I survived and came out through self-help.
For example, many people who have cancer are actually scared to death by themselves, not by cancer.
A large number of research data show that many cancer patients can actually live longer. The most important thing is whether they are relaxed and peaceful, whether they are positive and optimistic (not that kind of pretentious detonator) and whether they are calm.
Including doctors and psychologists, hold the same view.
For example, during World War II, many people rescued from centralized rescue later suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, and even their temperament changed greatly, which was completely different from before. It was in the long-term torture, fright and struggle on the edge of life and death in the concentration camp that the will was destroyed and the spirit collapsed.
So the biggest harm and destruction to a person is spiritual destruction. If the faith is shattered and the spirit is completely broken, people will be hopeless.
Fortunately, information exchange is fast now, and all kinds of information are abundant, so you can ask the outside world for help in time when you encounter damaged things.
You see this answer in three sentences:
Don't give up life, don't give up yourself, and ask the outside world for help when you encounter mental problems.
Come out and you will be reborn.
And life, there are many beautiful things waiting for you to experience.
There are many cruel situations, such as indifference, bitter revenge, mental and physical violence and abuse. I think the cruelest way is to trample on each other's feelings while knowing that they haven't let go, just like having a pair of invisible hands that hold you tightly all the time, but will never end you!
The song sings "I'd rather you are cold to the end than miss it day and night", and a friend of mine has experienced such cruel treatment that life is worse than death. She loves her ex-husband very much. Since I met her (more than ten years ago), her ex-husband (then her husband) has been talking about it all day. Proud of work, charming! Although she is only a small civilian instructor in the army, she is not very good-looking, but in her eyes, she is an excellent person, and every little girl always wants to take away the heartthrob! Every time I don't say a few words, I start to show my love. What husband dotes on her everywhere, can drive for more than ten miles, just to take time to send her a bowl of soup, what can he do to make her happy? Kneel down, slap her in the face and write a bloody book!
I envy her for many years, ignoring that she hasn't seen her husband several times all year round. Since confinement, she has been living alone with her children, and anyone who has experienced the hardships of raising children alone can understand.
Later, it was proved that this man only knew how to coax, and the essence of love rat was to coax her and others. Why does this man go home so little? In addition to the strict discipline of the army, he can't go out casually. Another reason is that he took advantage of his wife's hard work to take care of the baby (the baby was only 3 years old at that time) to go out for a limited time. Instead of going home, he hooked up with another one. Mistress San has existed for several years, but my friend doesn't know it, just loves it blindly. During this period, love rat took a lot of money from my friend on the pretext that he needed money for business. In order to support him, my friend borrowed 6,543,800 yuan from me, and all of them were lost.
Once, my friend, who thought he was happy in the honey pot of love, quarreled with her husband, played a little temper and said he wanted a divorce. My friend thought that her husband would try his best to coax her as before, but San Xiao was forced to get married when she was pregnant, and love rat took his wife to the Civil Affairs Bureau, so my friend got divorced in a fog (she always thought that her husband could not live without her, and it would not be a real divorce). After leaving the Civil Affairs Bureau, love rat talked sweetly. She refused to let my friend go, saying that she would live together and remarry another day. This is also in line with the expectations of friends, so love rat continued to live a monogamous life, during which she failed to start a business and owed a lot of debts. It was not until love rat and San Xiao got married and San Xiao's child was born/kloc-0 years old that my friend knew the truth. His whole-hearted feelings, wasted youth and friends completely collapsed! Love rat just wants to continue the life of his second daughter. No matter how sad the people who really love him are, they continue to cajole and talk about San Xiao's divorce. They remarried again and their friends wanted to save their marriage. After another three years, love rat always courted both sides, without any intention of remarriage. Shamefully, he let his friends switch from the original matchmaking to San Xiao for several years and posted a lot of money! My friend has spent all these years on this matter. He stayed in Lacrimosa all day and committed suicide several times. Fortunately, he failed. I advised her not to let go. She is almost 40 years old and her youth is exhausted. Let her go and start her life again. My friend was about to let go under my persuasion, but love rat immediately honeyed her up and tied her tightly, refusing to let go. Looking at her haggard description, life is worse than death, and inexplicably changed from the original match to the shameful life of mistress (she has been living in the past and always thought she was her proud husband), I was extremely sad but helpless.
Really, seeing her, I think it may be a kindness to leave.
Spiritual destruction is the most vicious and cruel, especially by the people closest to you and most trusted.
A good friend of mine suffered the most cruel mental injury, got depression, and it took several years to recover.
When she was looking for a job, she accidentally worked for an unscrupulous boss and signed a fake contract. She was the only employee, but she didn't get the money. She ate the leftovers from her boss's house yesterday. The boss's family always abuses her. She was very sad. Her parents often scold her because she is ugly because she doesn't go to work in the unit they plan to arrange. She has been putting up with it.
I can't take it anymore. She had a quarrel with her boss and then ran home. Her boss's abuse hurt her a lot.
She ran home and met her father. She cried and said, "Dad, I ..." Before she finished, her father pushed her away: "I'm going to take a shower. Get out of my way. " She called her mother, and her mother said, "Wait for me."
When her mother came home, she took her to her place of work. Her mother chatted with her boss for a while. The boss said it in front of her mother. "I still graduated from college and can't even sweep the floor." "If the shutter door doesn't close, we will suffer in the future. We did it for her own good. " "Now the only child is useless. We hope that she will open a shop in a few years. " "I can't sweep the floor or eat." The boss denied her in various ways, but did not dare to say that she had the best performance, the best and most responsible work attitude, and her customers liked her best.
Yes, because of her serious work attitude, all the shops around her knew about her and secretly told her not to work in this house. Several clients helped her to contact lawyers, some of whom were lawyers, and wanted to help her sue her boss for free, but her mother banned her from going to court and felt humiliated.
On the other hand, I didn't expect her mother to echo her voice. Her mother asked her to continue working here. She was desperate.
When she got home, her father said, "Look at you. Learn to serve tea and water at work. Go to work with a broom and mop, and nothing can be done. No wonder people don't like you, and the second boss can't be the boss. "
She said during her period, "That's what work is like. Do you want to be an uncle every day! "
She was shocked. She cleans for several hours every day, removes the shelves on the construction site, cooks for the boss and does her own work. But her father said so. She stretched out her hands stained with bloody nails. She thinks her father should be joking. The clothes she changes every day are muddy water for more than ten times. Unexpectedly, her father and menstruation smiled contemptuously and said, "Oh, this pain is unbearable."
This sentence was the last straw and quickly crushed her. Her thought at that time was, why did you tell them so much? She might as well die.
She suffered from depression and committed suicide several times. Later, with the help of friends, her depression was slightly better. She ran away from home several times, and her mother cried in her arms and wouldn't let her go.
She finally found an excuse to run away from home, her friends encouraged her, and she managed to survive, and her depression was cured. It can be seen that mental damage is really terrible.
Cold violence, right? By chance, he said he wanted to catch up with a plan to get a computer in the study, and he has been sleeping in the study since that night. I asked him what happened. He said that he was very busy recently, and the bed in the study slept more comfortably. I slept in my bedroom for four years. Today you said I didn't sleep well. I'm crazy. I was thinking, I was too busy at work, and I was afraid of disturbing me, so I stopped touching it slowly. He also said that I was busy on weekends. He won't argue with me, and he won't argue with me. He will do whatever I say. He won't give any advice, nor can he see how happy he is to do it. Finally, one day, he confessed that there was someone outside, and he would not accept my detention or my advice. He is bent on finding the divorced woman with the child. He would rather find the woman without a wife, saying that he is after his own soul and heart, and I really want to vomit blood. Because he won't listen to anything now, he won't know until he has experienced it. He said I don't know that woman, why do I think they are not suitable? I really want to go up and slap him. He asked me why I had to quarrel with him and stay together. I'm not a fairy, so it's good to keep an elegant posture and say, "Good luck, don't send it, I wish you a hundred years of harmony" without tearing you up. I'm waiting, and one day he will regret it!
Everyone has different ideas about the word cruelty. The cruelest way to see what he cares about most is to stab the place he cares about most.
I once witnessed a cruel thing with my own eyes. In my opinion, that son repaid his mother's kindness in the most cruel way.
That family has good economic conditions and lives a comfortable life. As a result, my son became addicted to gambling and owed a lot of money. My daughter-in-law is also very conscientious. At first, she wanted to make money to help pay off her debts, but later the hole became bigger and bigger, which could not be made up. My daughter-in-law left him.
Every day, people who want debts come to the door and knock on the door to threaten money. His parents can only return their savings to those people.
But the savings are always limited, and one day they will be hollowed out. What if it is hollowed out?
It never rains but it pours. His father has cancer, but the treatment is preliminary and it is possible to recover.
But his father gave up, because all the money in the family was taken by his son to pay off his debts. Then where did he get the money to treat the disease?
Waiting to die at home!
More than a year later, my father passed away!
He began to force his mother to drain all her pension until she couldn't even afford food and had to look for odd jobs everywhere.
One day, his mother wanted to buy a piece of meat with more than 20 yuan earned from odd jobs, and happened to meet him back and took the money. His mother tried to rob him, and he knocked him down.
That damn scream is terrible.
The next day, his mother borrowed money from her neighbors and committed suicide by drinking pesticides.
The unfilial son came back and saw his mother's body, so he borrowed a straw mat and threw it underground! Finally, his godmother came back to help her with the funeral.
I think the beating he gave his mother for more than twenty dollars that day was the last straw to crush the camel and the most cruel thing.
I think sometimes this society is really cruel and dark, and it is easy to destroy countless ordinary people.
I once chatted with my grandmother. She suddenly thought of something and asked me, "Do you remember the little girl with two pigtails in the next village? She is in your kindergarten class?" I'm at a loss. I haven't heard from her for a long time.
We all come from the same place. Although primary schools are in different classes, we also know each other. That girl is clean, soft, soft and beautiful.
But her parents divorced, and her mother left with someone else, leaving her with her father. Since then, she has never cared, and she met her biological mother when she was very young. His father married another.
Her stepmother is not good to her, and her father still has bad feelings for her mother. At ordinary times, her stepmother abused her, but her father turned a blind eye. As a result, she was a little autistic and didn't like to talk very much since she was a child.
At that time, she was still in primary school. She is very serious in class, gets good grades and does well in class. I am also willing to help others in class. The popularity is ok.
But one day in calligraphy class, she accidentally knocked over a bottle of ink and spilled it all on the new xiaoyanghua skirt at the same table.
Because of this bottle of ink, her life has been completely changed.
Her deskmate is about to cry, and she is really, really sorry. Trying to wash her deskmate, her deskmate was angry and anxious and said, "How can I wash it off? Even if I wash it, there will be ink stains." She bit her lower tooth and said, "Do you want me to give you an identical one?" Please forgive me, ok? "So her deskmate forgave her.
The clothes cost 100 yuan, and she dared not ask her fierce stepmother or tell her father. They were cold enough to her, and they were embarrassed to meet their deskmates empty-handed.
Sitting by the side of the road, crying. My grandmother saw me passing by and went to comfort her and let her go home.
Anyway, the next day, the girl took out a new skirt and gave it to her deskmate, who readily accepted it. This seems to be over.
Unexpectedly, when I was in junior high school, I heard that the girl was pregnant and the child belonged to an uncle in the community.
She sat on the side of the road that day and cried all the time.
The uncle came to ask her what had happened and she told him. Uncle said, come and sit in my house for a while, and I'll give you money to buy it.
Then she was raped with her uncle.
But she didn't even understand what was going on at that time, so as long as she didn't have the money to buy counseling books, eat breakfast or play with her classmates, she went to the old man. It may be easier for her than asking her parents for money.
Later, I understood what was going on, and I was afraid to tell anyone.
Grandma told me that she didn't give birth to the child, but that she stopped studying. Her parents feel ashamed and don't want to take care of her anymore. She married a part-time job and went away together. I came back two days ago, obviously as old as me, but I look really old and vicissitudes.
It is really common for us to squander 100 yuan now.
There was once a girl whose life was ruined because she was less than 100 yuan.
Society is cruel to her, and it is really cruel to have no money to treat her.
How to treat a person cruelly?
The problem itself is cruel!
I once had a friend who was bullied as a child and treated unfairly in his studies, which led to autism and mild mental illness in his later years.
Crazy, crazy, stupid to live to be eighteen or nineteen!
His life experience has a great influence on me.
One day, he met a girl. The girl told him that he was excellent and smart.
"Later he told me that it was the first time since he could remember that a girl thought he was excellent."
He hopes the girl's eyes are right. He also said that he would get better and then go after her.
I haven't seen him for a long time since.
More than a year passed, and I almost didn't recognize him when I saw him.
Although slightly hunched, people are much more cheerful than in the past, and their personality is not unique to Nuo Nuo. The original mental illness has also been completely cured.
More importantly, he has been able to manage a shop by himself.
I asked him how he did it so well.
He said; Depend on yourself? Or am I reliable?
Then he slowly talked about how he treated himself and how he spent more than a year. He didn't sleep much that year.
In order to resist the disease, I lay in the snow for half an hour in a thin coat. "Thirty degrees below zero."
After listening to his words, I was silent. "There is nothing to say."
Inadvertently noticed that he had many tiny wounds! At that moment, I realized! How much he cares about that woman.
Until I met him this year. I lost a lot of weight and smiled at everyone. He also likes to see beautiful women, even if he is glared at.
But I saw indifference in his eyes. A cold feeling. Seeing beautiful women is just his hobby!
Cruel?
For that friend, what you experienced was cruel and childish.
Don't try to be cruel to anyone.
Life is not cruel to you, you can kiss it with your life boots!
The cruelest way to treat a person is to control him in the name of love.
My father, until his death, was still complaining about his grandparents. My father is the only son in the family, and he was loved by his grandparents since childhood. He did well in school since he was a child, but he had to drop out of school at home because of the arrival of the Cultural Revolution. Later, he planned to be a soldier himself. With his background and conditions, he was the only one in the village at that time. However, his grandparents stopped him on the grounds that it was too messy outside.
Later, many people who were soldiers at that time, including my uncle, got a good future after changing jobs. Later, the country resumed the college entrance examination, but grandparents stopped dad on the grounds of world injustice. From then on, my father farmed at home, went out to work during the slack season, and was unhappy all his life.
Although, he bears a grudge against his parents. However, he will blame himself for being angry with his parents. Although, in daily life, he showed great intelligence. However, for the rest of his life, he had nothing, not even a mason. I can only be a mason's helper.
In the last days of his life, he once told me that he was an eagle with broken wings since he was a child. It was his parents who broke his wings. Because, for a while, his desire for the blue sky frightened them. Finally, his parents decided to break his wings to prevent him from flying at dangerous heights.
From then on, his life was meaningless and he became a vassal of his parents.
Many parents control their children in the name of love. In fact, it is killing the child's soul to save the body. The last thing left is a walking corpse, a ghost who has been at a loss all his life.
1. In order to answer this question, I specifically asked my wife if I made her feel that I was cruel to her.
Without thinking about it, she said, "When quarreling, if killing people is not illegal, I want to buy a bottle of magic acid (I don't know what it is, Baidu will leave you no corrosive residue."
I said, is it necessary?
This is what she said:
When I quarrel with you, you always don't quarrel with me, and I always cry;
You can ignore me, ignore me,
Or sneer at me (imagine that smile, the corners of your mouth are tilted, and you look at each other like a fool);
Or look up at 45 degrees.
Every time the Chinese New Year holiday is coming, my mother will call and ask me when I bought the ticket. When will you get home? What do you want to eat?
I peeled corn kernels for you and put them in the refrigerator to freeze. I'll cook soup for you when you come.
There is also a crawling monkey (as we call it there), which is also frozen in the refrigerator. I'll fry it for you when you come.
And ............................, when will you come?
I almost always said to the other end of the phone, "I haven't got the ticket yet (in fact, I haven't)." Just eat your own corn kernels. I don't want to eat them. " I'm allergic to climbing monkeys (actually, I don't want to eat them). "
My mother said, "Nothing, I'll keep it for you. There is plenty at home, but it can't be eaten outside. "
I said, "Oh, I don't want to eat. I won't eat it after you finish. Is there anything else? "
My mother said, "Nothing, gnome male-". . . . (Laughter from the other end of the phone), I'll save it all for you. When will you come? "
I said, "I'll tell you when I get the ticket."
My mother said, "OK, it's comfortable to buy high-speed rail."
I said, "OK," and hung up.
I think at the other end of the phone, my mother must have put away her smiling face and put her mobile phone on the table alone.
The cruelest thing I think should be that kind of fake warmth.
Xiaoxue is blind and has been treated specially since childhood. Although life is cruel to her, she still actively lives every day. I like singing and being a radio host. Her angelic voice warmed many people's hearts.
I met Dongzi in a blind class. That day, Dongzi sat next to Xiaoxue, and the class was over. Xiaoxue was ready to leave, and found that his guide rod could not be touched. I haven't touched it for a long time, and Xiaoxue is a little anxious. At this time, Dongzi reached out and grabbed Xiaoxue's arm. Ask, "Do you need help?" Xiaoxue explained his situation and hoped that he could help find the blind guide. Dongzi looked around, but couldn't find it. He asked where Xiaoxue's home was, and he sent her back first. Xiaoxue, who couldn't help, had to ask him for help. Dongzi took her by the hand and took her ahead. There were stairs and uneven places, so she told her in advance.
Later, there was class again, and she waited for him to come and sit in class together. After class, Dongzi tacitly took her hand. He took her to the movies, shopping, climbing mountains to watch the sunrise and enjoying the natural scenery. Xiaoxue was the happiest at that time. She thinks Dongzi is the best person in the world, and she is used to being with him every day.
But one day, Xiaoxue never waited for Dongzi in class. She called him, but it was an empty number. Dongzi deliberately approached her, just to film the life of the blind. Now that it's finished, he won't come again.
She waited day after day, but Dongzi didn't show up. So she was sad, her voice was no longer as good as an angel, she began to complain that God was unfair to her, and she began to hate the black and white world.
Your warmth makes me see the light, but without you, I hate this dark world even more.