Dear daughter:
See the words like a face.
If I never get married in my life, I think I will adopt a daughter, that is, you.
Don't get me wrong, your dad is not the kind of pervert who wants to flirt with children. When you grow up, you will understand that your father is not interested in Lori and young girls, because your father also likes passivity.
I also think that the deep-rooted traditional concept of consanguinity will make me have reservations about your's love. As the most important partner in my life besides your grandparents, your father and me, I really don't value those chains called DNA, and I firmly believe that under the guidance of my wise SHEN WOO, you will become more and more like me, more like being born than yourself. I will pass on all my advantages to you, except my handsome and sexy chest hair when swearing.
The initial communication between us may begin when I taught you to distinguish leeks from celery. Your father made such a mistake at the beginning, leaving the shadow of being laughed at by grandma for many years. I can't let you fall into this pit again. Feeding your grandmother milk powder, you know, she is far more experienced than me. I will be responsible for playing with you. I'm trying to practice the correct posture of hugging you. I also guarantee that the flying height will not exceed 2.5 meters. I have acrophobia, and I'm afraid I'll pass it on to you.
I allow you to draw on my back, face and walls at home, but you are not allowed to write? Demolition? Word, we have to live in this house for decades. But I won't erase the masterpiece on your wall. When you grow up, I will show you what you have done at home.
Don't dislike your father's poor cooking. When you didn't come, your father ate gutter oil. When you came, your father decided to help himself and live a normal diet. If it has a bad appetite for you, I will find your milk, but remember to pack the rest for your father.
It's a pity that I can't share my physiological knowledge and makeup artist with you. You can dress yourself up as you like. If you know enough about some cultures, I will allow you to get tattoos, but don't put metal balls on your body. Your father's heart is really bad, so he beats his chest here. However, as a different species, I will give you a lot of advice on choosing a spouse. Of course, you have the right to choose. I respect your choice. Even if you fall in love with a scum, I can let him go as long as I am good to you. Don't even think about not coming home at night.
Perhaps contradictions sometimes start from this, and years have finally dug up the gap between us. Each generation has its own different values, not seeking agreement, but seeking mutual tolerance and accommodating each other's feelings, just like when you were still in the cradle, my father and I were eating, and it was the same reason that you farted and defecated from time to time. I didn't blame you at that time, and I wouldn't reason with you. Home is not a reasonable place. I spoiled you, but you let me go.
You were my lover in my last life, and I had to squeeze the delicacy and pampering of my life to pay off the debt I owed you in my last life. I didn't have a chance to love your mother once, so I gave you this love twice. What do you think is good or bad? Dad tried his best. But I hope you can grow into the warmest kind of person. I hope you are kind and sincere, honest and independent, with dreams in your heart, cheerful and generous.
Even if you can't get rid of the worldly bondage, I hope you can live the life you want like freedom. Leave the rest of your troubles to me. For my father's sake, I am willing to use my life to fight against reality and change your life for your own, but I will not interfere with your choice too much. Straight roads and detours are all your scenery.
Even so, son, I know I still owe you. Perhaps countless times, you have seen other children being gently carried away by their mothers in kindergarten. Only when the father's chest is covered with weeds will you feel uncomfortable. Maybe some annoying children will laugh at you as a child without a mother and hurt you in various ways that you hate and I hate. When did you ask my mother? I will tell your mother that she is a traveler, and she will wait for us in time so that we can find her together. This is not a white lie, it is a complete lie.
One day, when you grow up, I can't give you such a lie anymore. If you like, I will buy an insurance car to take you to your mother.
We went to the flower sea of Qinghai Lake, the mountain of Altay, the alley of Daocheng Aden, the Meili Snow Mountain and the lake of Namco. In fact, you know how to find it in vain. But what matters is not whether we have found our mother. What matters is this trip, the world you have seen, the difficulties and obstacles you have endured, and hunger and cold. These growths can make me feel more at ease to give you to the world.
Baby, your mother is a traveler. I see her shadow in you again. I love her like I love you.
Before you came of age, I was your cotton-padded jacket, your roof and your umbrella.
When you are an adult, I am just the road under your feet. When you are down to earth, I feel calm inside.
One day, I can't understand the game you are playing, and I can't keep up with your walking speed, so I will quit your life, or one day I will give your hand in my palm to another man, and my handover will be extremely slow. Please understand that every minute of hesitation is recalling the past of our father and daughter.
From when you chase me to hug me to when I take you to the vegetable market. From watching you play a drama in kindergarten to sitting on the balcony and listening to different boys singing to you downstairs. From the way I was lying in bed reading, you shouted at my father to climb my abdominal muscles, to the fact that you had to close the door of the room no matter what you did. From when you stood beside me in a bachelor's uniform to today when you stood beside another man in a wedding dress.
Thought of here, I realized that you have left me hand in hand and walked a long way. I don't think it's shameful to cry. I prefer to feel the happiness of finding the other half, although your father has never experienced it.
Your stubbornness is really like mine, but don't stay. You have two lives. When I become a grandfather, I'll come back and see if the child has a penis. If you think my parenting skills are ok, you can hire me, but I'm not sure I'll agree.
Boy, writing here suddenly reminds me of the first time I taught you to walk. When I gradually released my hand, your center of gravity was unstable and you fell down. I rushed to pick you up, and you cried in my arms. At that time, I kept thinking, if only you could wipe your sad tears and nose in my arms all your life.
Touch one's head
Love, dad.
XXXX。 X. X
Write a letter to your future daughter.
Dear Xiong Haizi:
Hello.
I have written your fourth letter before I know it. (In fact, every month, the editor has a reminder. During this time, I changed from 23 to 24, and the whole China ushered in a new year with great joy. Spring was exploded by firecrackers, but the weather in Shanghai showed no signs of warming.
I didn't mention it before. The city where my mother lives is called Shanghai. Everything is so good that you can buy strawberry ice cream and Guandong cooking downstairs at 3: 00 in the middle of the night. The only drawback that is hard to change is that winter is cold and long, but spring can always flash by in your distraction. After the Spring Festival holiday, I gained ten pounds and returned to Shanghai where every second counts. I tried to go on a diet to lose weight, drink more water, do flat support, buy a few boxes of wine at home, and continue to do what I didn't finish before the holiday.
Sitting in front of the refrigerator in the middle of the night, reading a few pages while drinking, and then I was sent away all day. Because of the busy and cold spring, the New Year's friends' party has not yet started. Every year, I am very dissatisfied with my little belly, and this boring and trivial time will be a little intermittent? Thinking about life syndrome? . Because I watched a TV program, I bought a high-profile book "Mourning" (that is, the male star who looks like a pumpkin in Plants vs Zombies in our time). Is there such a sentence on the cover? We are finally grown up and can talk about the future. ? As a hidden young woman in literature and art, I can't help thinking endlessly, which reminds me of a dramatic quarrel and reconciliation with my boyfriend during the Spring Festival holiday. Then I crept to the window and watched him fall asleep. Then I touched the ring on my hand to make sure everything was true. In this complicated happiness, I will inevitably fall into a new round of thinking. Is this my life?
Some friends say this is seasonal affective disorder, and some friends say this is premarital phobia. Who cares? Today, the truth on my truck hasn't come back from far away. As my mother's daughter, please share my life confusion with me. (Mm-hmm, even my mother will be confused! But don't worry, confusion is never used to solve it.
Think of yourself as a lucky person. I can share the story I wrote for you with so many people, although I don't know when you will come or not. Do you like pink or black, Barbie or heavy metal band, curly hair or long straight hair? When I was six years old, I had the same fantasy. What will I be when I grow up? I went to my parents' office to play when I was a child. Colleagues saw me and said, well, I still look like my dad. I certainly didn't understand the meaning behind this sentence at that time. It was not until a few days ago that I sorted out the bookshelves at home and saw several photo albums of my parents that I was deeply hurt by the dark side of genes. Your grandmother, that is, my mother, for her, it is no exaggeration to describe beauty with all words. My boyfriend even spent an hour rummaging through the photo albums and picked one as the phone lock screen. In real life, he can't stare at me for ten minutes. Your grandfather, on the other hand, looks like a comedy. I'm like a female version of him printed by a 3D printer. Even so, in the process of growing up, I was completely unaffected by my appearance. My grandmother, her grandfather can get beautiful women, and of course he has two brushes, which have done a wonderful job in my psychological construction. Will I still appear when I look in the mirror until now? God, the most beautiful person in the world ~? The illusion of. Grandpa will brainwash you after you are born. Don't worry, baby. Thanks to him, I have never felt inferior because of my looks. I love and be loved, and I give and receive well.
There is only one thing that bothers me. Why does my sixth-grade senior always clean up and smell good after art class? After art class, I either smell ink or have traces of watercolor pens on my hands. My senior in the sixth grade is the daughter of my father's colleague and is often entrusted to pick me up from school. She has short and capable hair. She is tall and has a beautiful smile. Boys look at her with a sense of ritual that I didn't have when I was in contact with her. She spoke from her abdomen, spat on her palms and combed her hair meticulously. Although I was only about six, seven, eight or nine years old at that time, I have clearly realized that I envy her life very much. At that time, I watched Roman Holiday on the movie channel, and I couldn't understand the content at all, but I was full of energy and thought she looked like Audrey Hepburn. Only when she grows up can she be described more accurately. She is like Liang Yongqi who sang Liang Yongqi in her short hair.
Her life is so elegant that it even reflects my embarrassment. I stood behind her, trying my best to wipe the watercolor pen on my hand, but she took out something called a wet tissue, squatted down to help me dry my hands, and smiled and said that I wanted to be cute or something. I stared at her, and the flame of hatred that had just been ignited was instantly extinguished by her spring breeze-like care. I just hope I can grow up quickly, maybe I can be like her in the sixth grade. Genes are really irreversible, and I can even fall down while doing broadcast gymnastics in the sixth grade. The second time, I felt the same way. When I went to the film and television company as an intern in my sophomore year, I met the department director, a 35-year-old girl, as thin as every metropolis girl, wearing an ironed suit and carrying a good bag that I didn't know the brand texture, and passed me by politely. When I passed by, I couldn't help looking back at her, and she looked back. She smiled and said to me, leave me a phone number. Say that finish, he took out a beautiful cowhide pencil case and a square notebook from his bag, and took out a pen with sparkling artificial crystal. Because this is my first impression of girls in the workplace, I have talked about many pens that are 100 times more expensive than that one (nothing, local tyrants in the film and television industry are used to giving expensive pens to screenwriters), but I have been considering buying a ballpoint pen just like her.
That's the symbol of the real elite in my heart!
This is what I want to live from six to twenty-four. These girls have an obvious feature, they will not be sad, will not relax, will not be sentimental. Even if they have these, they won't be seen. Always work hard, stay away from the mess and live a glorious life.
In fact, these superficial congenital, is to think more about smallpox. First of all, no matter what I look like, I can't put on a laissez-faire attitude towards my appearance. In the third grade, everyone was still arguing about who could eat a whole chicken, so I began to learn to diet. For more than ten years, I will remember clearly when others say I am fat. Secondly, we should keep up with the fashion trend, not too much, but also dress with texture, which is not praised by my mother. Almost every friend has asked me how to dress. There are many big stars who need to appear frequently. We deliberately create a casual, in fact, it is intentional. The most important thing is a self-reliant core. Strive to earn enough money to raise livestock, buy an apartment, have a place to hide when embarrassed, work hard, consume expensive things, hold your head high and be confident in front of every boy. Finally, I have a profitable job. I have savings to run, drink some wine and read two pages of books on the kitchen floor.
It's a bit ridiculous to sum up. So I was really born for it? Beautiful? A very clumsy person can only create the so-called in this superficial way? Beautiful life? .
Such a life will inevitably breed my inhuman character. Going back to my boyfriend's house for the New Year (if he is not your father, this letter must be sent to burn after reading) is just to accept a normal relationship with the elders, but I am very resistant. For five days in a row, my boyfriend and mother took pains to put dishes in my bowl and advised me to go to the city where they lived. I finally frowned? Is it? Give a shout. Then put down the chopsticks and ran upstairs, throwing up lunch and breakfast. After all, keep this superficial? Beautiful life? No one can understand the difficulties behind except yourself.
Later, my boyfriend came up and said that we all heard it. You embarrassed us. And I only see the one in the mirror, a self who has been idle for a long time, gained ten pounds and is unkempt. The first time I had a big fight with him, I was going crazy.
Is this my life? Give up the wonderful life in the metropolis? What a beautiful person I am. From then on, I began to ask questions, so I got married, had children, and gave up everything I had worked hard. Do you accept it? Most people in the world are like this? The truth is.
So, we started the cold war. The cold war lasted until the early hours of the morning. Boyfriend's mother went out for a walk and didn't come back until after two o'clock. She didn't answer any phone calls. Boyfriend's father is a polite, modest and shy person. It was not until one o'clock that he shyly called her friend. My heart is full of complex guilt. He and I drove to the street to find it. Both of them looked at the streets on the left and right, and no one spoke.
The city is small, and the Spring Festival is even more lonely. There are only firecrackers and street lamps lying alone by the roadside. I've been thinking, what should I do if this is really missing? I turned to look at my boyfriend who was driving, like a lost little guy, frowning tightly. I could see that he was about to cry, but he still said it's okay, it's okay.
At that time, I had thousands of years in my mind, but none of them were about? Is this my life? problem I finally admitted my uselessness. It turns out that love is the most embarrassing weakness. Fortunately, I failed to escape from this barrier.
I ran around the street blankly, holding his hand hard, taking a deep breath and saying, I will accompany you no matter what, because? . Fortunately, at that moment, before I could say anything disgusting, the phone rang. My mother just lost track of time when chatting with her friends and went home. Then we almost hugged each other and cried. I really understand why the most beautiful word in the world is? False alarm? .
On our way back with the ice cream, I wrote it down in the memo? Beautiful life? These four words, as a topic to write to you next time. Up to now, I have really forgotten what a good life is in my mind.
Adults say that feelings are a stumbling block on the road to success. I think success is probably the line that needs to be sprinted before running towards a better life. In that case, I am willing to run as hard as I can, but when I stopped in front of it, someone rushed over and I wished him well. And I, a worthless person, just stood on the other side of the line, in cahoots with all the people who were stopped because I couldn't let go of my friendship.
Then, for you, you will work harder to take a step forward, surpass your mother and me, and strive for the next land. Or, like me, admit that a hopeless life is a mess. I don't know, but I believe that life will always give you the answer. When the time comes, don't forget to write to me and give me one more reason to open champagne.
Good night See you next month.
Love, alcoholic mother
XXXX。 X. X
Yes, writing to your future daughter or reading.
1. Yu Guangzhong's letter to future children
2. A letter to a future child
Four letters from parents to their daughters.
4. A letter from a post-90s mother to her future children.