Network is the essence of exponential form. Or the change is exponential. The history of mankind is a minority, and it is a minority historical record of a person. The power of "1" should not only have good intentions but not take action. Wealth, housing, school education, ideal job and democracy have little influence on happiness. The key is internal change. Some people talk about expectations, thinking that the lower expectations, the less disappointment. That's true, but it doesn't matter. The key is the right or wrong expectations, not the level of expectations.
Wrong expectation: Entering a well-known enterprise, getting promoted, finding an ideal partner and moving will make us happy, but it will only be a short time. In the long run, our happiness will return to the basic level of happiness. Therefore, we should constantly raise our expectations and pursue them. Either break this cycle and jump out, or take the environment as the standard of happiness. In fact, his contribution to happiness is very small.
Personality is limited, right? Some innate things we can't change, but we can guide, understand and use them. This is a lifelong challenge.
Allow yourself to be a part of human beings and experience all kinds of emotions. A living person, not a mental patient, will not be happy forever. Pain is a part of human nature. When we were born, we allowed ourselves to be human, but when we grew up, we began to pay attention to "face" and "judgment". In fact, people don't pay as much attention to us as we thought. It is our achievements, not your happiness, that will ultimately pay the price. At this point, you no longer allow yourself to be human.
We need a space, the most important thing is to get along with ourselves, to allow ourselves to be human, to accept ourselves unconditionally, to cry, to be happy, and to allow emotions to surge to you. Repression leads to reinforcement, so let it go. People suffering from speech anxiety, don't say stop to yourself! I won't allow you to be anxious. You should know that tension can be handled, and you can control it. Don't reject nature.
The key to being a man is to accept that painful emotions are human nature and command that nature must abide by the commanded nature. We must be honest, admit the facts, give ourselves a space, and allow ourselves to be a man when facing ourselves.
This is not submission, but active acceptance, just like the famous poem:
God, please grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change. ?
Give me the courage to change what I can.
Give me wisdom to tell the difference between the two. ?
About psychology: ABC
emotion
Behavior-action
Cognitive thinking
Permission to be a man is mainly emotion, that is, influence. Accepting emotions does not mean accepting actions and thoughts.
Jealousy doesn't mean I'm a bad person, it's human nature. Jealousy, anger, depression and anxiety are not good or bad, but only part of human nature.
After emotion, the key is to choose what kind of action intervention (moral intervention here). I am jealous, but I choose to be tolerant and kind to it. So is cognition. What I can feel doesn't mean that I have to give in to the idea of feeling.
Meditation on pain is not helpful. Writing and talking are better than always thinking about pain. I don't accept all unreasonable ideas. But emotions cannot be changed. The important thing is to face the reality bravely and truly.
A strong psychological immune system does not mean that there will be no negative emotions, but that you can recover from the pain more quickly and take the initiative to accept the pain.