When I first retired, my health was not very good, and my anxiety and depression were more serious.
1963 after a right lung was removed, my lung disease never broke out again, but anxiety and depression have been bothering me. The root cause of the disease was the anti-rightist movement of 1957, and it happened again during the Cultural Revolution. 1985 I suffer from anxiety, which is probably caused by fatigue for no political reason. Coupled with some contradictions and things in People's Literature Publishing House, I am exhausted, so I have insomnia and anxiety.
I took valium tablets. It worked at first, but it didn't work later. Then I had nightmares almost every night. When I woke up, I was sweating profusely and my heart was beating violently. Sometimes I worry about this cycle, and I don't know when my brain will collapse, so I think of saving myself.
197 1 when I was in cadre school, I silently recited China's ancient poems and foreign poems, but in 1980, I consciously used this method to fight anxiety.
1980 participated in the China publishing delegation's visit to the United States. When I came back, I passed by Japan and stayed in Tokyo for a week. It's a long way from the Japanese airport to the Embassy of China. The embassy sent a car to meet it at the airport. This car smells of gasoline. On the way, I felt dizzy and my heart beat faster. I closed my eyes and recited Wordsworth's poem The Lonely Lawcutter in my mind. When I was a child, I would recite this poem. The poet in the poem heard the moving song of the girl who cut the grain and walked to the mountain, and he still thought about that song in his heart. I mused, with the rise of the Scottish Highlands, the image of a girl appeared in my mind, and sad songs fluttered.
There are two ways to recite English poems, one is to recite them consciously according to the rhythm, and the other is to recite them naturally without forcing the rhythm. I pressed the first back: looking at her, the girl on the remote plateau … and then pressed the second back, over and over again. After reciting it for more than ten times, my heartbeat returned to normal, my pulse was stable, and I opened my eyes. When we arrived at the embassy, everything was fine.
Another time, I accidentally fell asleep at night and woke up thinking of Bai Juyi's Pipa Trip. I was immersed in the story atmosphere and artistic conception of "Tianya is reduced to a human being" and inadvertently fell into a long-lost dream. Since then, I have often summoned sleeping gods through meditation to restore inner peace.
I also have a habit of reciting ancient poems before going to bed and watching how the entering tone characters in the poems are distributed. For example, Wang Wan's five-character metrical poem "A berth under the North Fort Mountain" in the Tang Dynasty has eight * * * sentences, each with one Rusheng character, and the positions of Rusheng characters in the sentence are front, middle, back, middle and front ... connected into a wave shape.
I wonder, did the ancients use Rusheng characters regularly? So I thought and thought and fell asleep slowly. I don't recite new poems. New poems are not easy to recite. I recite China's ancient poems or foreign poems, purify my mind, sink into the charm of poetry, and finally fall asleep.
When I was insomnia, I went to see western medicine and Chinese medicine, but I still couldn't completely cure insomnia. Poetry is more effective, but not always. However, I have always kept the habit of reciting poems before going to bed at night until now.
(Excerpted from Life, Reading and Knowledge Sanlian Bookstore/Toluna)