I was born in an ancient town near nanxi river, Yongjia County, Zhejiang Province, where the scenery is picturesque and the folk customs are simple. However, with the changes of the times, Buddhism has gradually died out, and now there is no Buddhist belief, and people generally believe in Taoism or Christianity. Although there are still many relics of ancient temples, there is not a monk or a layman in the town, which can make you deeply understand what "life is rare and Buddhism stinks". Growing up, I have never seen a real monk at all. Occasionally, a few decadent fake monks pass by on the street to beg for money, and everyone doesn't know the difference between true and false. Being lazy and getting something for nothing is the definition of being a monk by the villagers.
When I was a child, it was sultry in summer. In order to escape the heat, the whole family would go to the roof to lay bamboo mats for the night. The sky is a tent and a bed, and the bright moon and stars accompany me to sleep. Lying leisurely watching the starry sky, the bright moon, and the occasional meteor, lamenting the vastness of the universe, the smallness of the earth and mankind, full of doubts about the truth of the universe and the meaning of life. Curious, I like reading books about anecdotes and unsolved mysteries. Where is the edge of the universe? Where do humans come from? What do people live for? Maybe I shouldn't think about such an absurd question, but I can't stop thinking. I don't want to spend my life in Xili Lake.
In 1999, I passed the exam and entered a town to work. In fact, the competition is quite cruel. More than 14 college students refer to it, with only 7 students each. Having an iron rice bowl means that you will have no worries about food and clothing in the future, and your fate will change. It's been ten years like this. In fact, I don't want to live this boring life any longer, but it's hard to change. My parents won't agree to resign after a hard-won job. Moreover, besides being good at playing games, I seem to have nothing, so I live one day passively. I am like a lost lamb, with no direction, no ideal, decadent and addicted to video games.
Fortunately, I met Buddhism by chance, which lit my heart and made me see the hope of liberation. In October 26, I accidentally heard a Buddhist song "Samsara" while surfing the Internet, and was immediately shocked by the ethereal music. I don't need any lyrics. It's just a simple name of "There is no Amitabha Buddha in the South". Accompanied by the knocking of the monk and the wooden fish, it seems that I can see the ancient temples in the mountains, the Buddhist monks' tracks, and the isolated jungle life like a paradise. I have always been sentimental, listening to tears has filled my eyes, isn't that the world I yearn for? So I began to study Buddhism's interpretation of the universe and the meaning of life, came into contact with the real teachings of Buddhism, and learned about The six great divisions in the wheel of karma. After the vicissitudes of life, I longed for the quiet life of my family and soon sprouted the idea of becoming a monk and practicing. On weekdays, I have seen the ugly side of human nature more and more, and I have become more and more withdrawn and world-weary. When I arrive at the temple, I feel so warm. At first, I went to the temple to attend morning and evening classes. Listening to the Sanskrit mantra always touched me inexplicably. I often secretly wiped my tears with a paper towel, for fear of being discovered by others.
In December of that year, I decided to give up my love and leave my family, put everything down and went to Tiantai kokuseiji to become a monk. Unfortunately, my parents found me a few days later and forced me back home. The idea of carrying on the family line in rural areas is deeply rooted, and my parents won't let me become a monk anyway. In my hometown where there is no Buddhist atmosphere, if I become a monk, it will cause great social pressure to my parents, and they will be laughed at by the villagers and ashamed to see others. Everything seems destined to be a tragedy. Every time I mentioned becoming a monk, my mother felt uneasy about Lacrimosa. Looking at her increasingly haggard parents, I could only bury my dream in my heart for the time being, and pray that I would become a monk as soon as possible.
Things are impermanent. After three years, many strange things happened. After years of persistence, I got an unexpected happy ending. I not only became a monk smoothly, but also was admitted to China Buddhist College, the highest Buddhist institution in China. Two exams have changed my fate. Iron bowls have changed for earthenware bowls. Some people may never understand my choice and give up work, money, wine and meat. What fun is there in life? Don't think I'm really high-minded. I'm just a very simple person. I didn't have much desire for those things, so why not let go? It is the greatest happiness for people to do what they like when they are alive, and I like Buddhism, and it is the best destination to be able to become a monk and practice.