Haha, I think most of the writing is very good, especially the momentum. I guess if boys are a little shy after reading this, they need to find a place to hide.
As mentioned by the previous few, the overly colloquial expression makes it look less neat and more like Yuefu poetry. In addition, the ideas seem a bit messy. In the first part, the man is accused of being superficial and unworthy, and in the second part, the daughter is proud. However, the connection is not very good, and the overall atmosphere has changed from high and proud at the beginning to depressive and melancholy at the end, which personally feels a bit awkward.
As long as a girl has self-esteem, confidence and self-reliance, why should she worry about marriage? There is no need to be trapped by the world, your own happiness is the most important thing.