Lei Yuanzhou, Zhangzhuang Middle School, Gongan County, Hubei Province (43432 1)
[Title Display]
Family is a harbor in navigation, a Polaris at night and an oasis in the desert. Relatives give you affection, nurture your growth and urge you to work hard. When we feel the beautiful family with delicate hearts, have you ever felt the urge to write? Then, get a pen, draw the image of the person you love in your heart and praise us. ...
Requirements: Write a family member you are familiar with, and write your own topic. The style is not limited to poetry, not less than 500 words.
[writing instruction]
The affection of relatives and friends is so fascinating. Look, the mother stretched out her hands behind the toddler, and her face was full of joy and tension; Look, grandma is holding her little grandson and telling endless fairy tales. ...
Writing about relatives is also writing about people. As long as you can write about any familiar "person", it will be more natural to write about emotional relatives. People who want to write "live" may wish to ask three "what" before writing.
First, what does it look like? Different people have different looks and their clothes have different tastes. When we write characters, we should write the typical characteristics of portraits according to their ideological character. Of course, little girls are "braided with horns", "dressed in colorful clothes" and "watery eyes". So many people look alike, can you tell who is who?
Second, say what? Language is the mirror of the soul. What a person says is closely related to his age, knowledge, accomplishment, temperament, demeanor, identity and status. When we write the characters' language, we should pay attention to what kind of people say what kind of words, avoid the same accent at all ages, and try to give people an unreal feeling.
Third, what should we do? Things are the backbone of the article. The reason why a person leaves a deep impression is also because of some things he has done, such as his care and help for you, some of his specialties and hobbies, the way he left an impression on you, or things that made you unhappy.
Ask, think about the above three "What's", think about the plan and then start writing, then the image of loved ones in the composition will definitely come to the fore, cordial and touching.
[Exercise Show 1]: Sister, I miss you very much (first class).
Xiao Xiang, Grade 7, Zhangzhuang Middle School, Gongan County, Hubei Province
In fact, I miss you very much and have been thinking about you. It's just that my clumsy tongue doesn't know how to express it.
Remember when I was a child, when I was selfish and generous?
Mom bought delicious food, because of you, my sister, I can only eat half. During the Spring Festival, my elders gave me lucky money, and because of you, I lost a little. I envy the only child next door, and I am eager to get all the care and love from my parents.
I am really young. I'm always charming. You do everything. I also insolently insulted you and satirized you. ...
However, my ignorance, my willfulness, and my unreasonable behavior have made you forgive me again and again with your sister's demeanor. You said I was a sister. Yes, you are my sister, my own sister. I grew up slowly, without my childhood ignorance, but I still have a bad temper that I can't change.
When you were in high school, you only came back once a month. Without stumbling and coquetry, I began to miss you and your good. But I forced myself not to miss it, let alone show my feelings. I hate to admit it. I am afraid to hear a tone: "I miss your sister, who told you to be so ignorant." Look, I didn't even call. "
Sister seems to have not come back for two months. No, it was two months and five days! Autumn has come, and the oranges on the treetops are red. Why doesn't my sister call one? Autumn, is it the season of waiting?
I finally look forward to Friday. As soon as I got home, I searched the house. However, everything remains the same. My heart is cold.
"Sweet, your sister called and said she bought you a lot of delicious food. She said that she misses you very much. "
"When will she come back?"
"What she said seems to be today."
Yes, my sister will come back today!
It's six o'clock, the night has fallen, and my sister hasn't come back yet. I stared at the alarm clock and watched the second hand go slowly.
Won't she come back? No, she won't. She will definitely come back.
It's seven o'clock and it's already dark. I still won't give up. Maybe she was delayed on the way. A motorcycle sounded, and I thought my sister was back. I ran out immediately, but there was no one there. No, she will definitely come back. I turned the TV to the minimum and sat by the window watching the road until the end of the road, the end. ...
Actually, I really miss you. Thinking of you every minute, thinking of you to the letter. I really want to shout "Sister" and then lose my temper, so charming.
Sister, do you know, do you know? ...
[Comment]: This article is full of strong sisterhood. The author wants to promote first and suppress second, full of guilt, recalling the shortcomings of childhood "I" and my sister's tolerance, as well as the two "do you know" at the end of the paragraph, and the emotion is promoted to the extreme. In addition, "As soon as I get home", "Night arrival" and "It's already dark" are the three paragraphs in the afternoon, and they are also the testimony of sisters' deep affection. In this way, although my sister did not appear, her tolerance and kindness have already quietly immersed in the readers' hearts.
[Exercise 2]: Mom, forgive me (second class)
Chen Yameng, Grade 7, Zhangzhuang Middle School, Gongan County, Hubei Province
Mom doesn't belong to the kind of woman who has a good wife and a good mother. On the contrary, she is very strict, and she is more strict with my study. Like all mothers in the world, mothers also have a tolerant heart.
It was a dry autumn, and the tender branches and leaves of young trees trembled in the bleak autumn wind. I did badly in the math exam, so I went home and swallowed my bitter tears by the window alone. I shudder at the thought of my mother's harsh words.
At home, a sumptuous meal, a bright smiling face, everything remains the same, the only thing that has changed is that I used to look embarrassed, and today I am covered with a cloud. "What's the matter, why do you keep a straight face?" Mother asked with concern. I simply invited a Xu Shu into Cao Cao's camp and said nothing. "Did you fail the exam?" It seems that mom has guessed a thing or two. I am still silent.
"How many points?"
"failed." I tried to pretend that nothing had happened.
"failed?" Mother's face suddenly changed.
"Yes, I failed. Why? " Tears of disappointment flowed to his lips again. "It's always like this. If you fail in the exam, you will scold me. What else will you let me do besides studying? " I slammed the door, leaving my mother sitting on the dining table with a stunned face.
The hour hand pointed to eleven o'clock, but I was still fighting bloody battles at my desk. Suddenly, the door was pushed open and my mother came in with a cup of green tea.
"Have a cup of tea to refresh yourself!" Mother said that and went out, gently closing the door, leaving only mine and the steaming cup of tea. Tea is very clear and pure, and the faint fragrance dilutes my sadness and makes my mind clear. Mom, forgive your daughter's ignorance!
[Comment]: There are two successes in this article: ① The environment sets off the mood of the characters. Delicate branches and leaves tremble in the autumn wind, just like my fear and anxiety after failing the exam. ② Contrast promotes plot development. Contrast is often used in composition, such as mother's "bright smiling face" and "mine" covered with dark clouds, "sudden face change" and tea delivery behind, and "I" slamming the door to beg mother's forgiveness. These contrasts not only promote the development of the plot, but also highlight the personality of the characters. Of course, there are also many places worthy of revision and improvement. For example, the psychological description of "I" can be more delicate and rich, so the length of the composition is enough.
[link to materials]
1, story material:
Before a master performer came on stage, his disciples told him that his shoelaces were loose. The master nodded his thanks and squatted down to tie it carefully. After the disciple turned and left, he squatted down to untie his shoelaces.
A bystander asked inexplicably, "Master, why do you want to untie your shoelaces again?" The master replied, "Because I played a tired traveler, the detail of loosening his shoelaces can better show his fatigue and haggard after a long journey."
"Then why don't you just tell your disciples?"
"He can carefully find that my shoelaces are loose and enthusiastically tell me that I must protect his enthusiasm and give him encouragement in time. As for waiting for him to leave, I didn't explain this time but untied my shoelaces, because there will be more opportunities to teach him to perform in the future, so let's talk about it next time. "
2. Famous English:
She was eighteen or nineteen at that time. There is a mole about the size of Qian on the right corner of the mouth. In my memory, she is a gentle and beautiful person.
-Teacher Cai Wei Wei: "My Teacher"
At this time, a dark and thin gentleman came in, with a moustache and glasses, holding a pile of books, big and small. As soon as I put the book on the podium, I introduced myself to the students in a slow and depressed tone: "My name is Fujino Genkuro ..."
-Mr Fujino, Lu Xun: "Mr Fujino"
(3) the second salute, Mr Kindly aside in reply. He is a tall and thin old man with gray hair and big glasses. I have great respect for him, because I heard that he is an old-fashioned, simple and knowledgeable person in this city.
-Mr. Shou, Lu Xun: "The Hundred Herbs Garden Reflects the Moon on the Three Ponds"
[Wenxin interaction]
Health: when we write people, we always feel that the characters are not clear enough. Does the teacher have any clever ways to teach us?
Teacher: I have a common and effective method here, which is called suppressing contrast. When students watch movies and novels, do they find such a rule: if a hero wants to be smart and brave, his opponent must be very cruel and cunning; To praise the public security soldiers for solving the case well, the criminal must be cunning and changeable; To show a person's dedication to his career, his entrepreneurial environment must be hard and excellent. ...
Health: Don't say you didn't pay attention. Come to think of it, it is. To put it bluntly, it is "not afraid of not knowing the goods, but afraid of shopping around."
Teacher: You can also understand it this way. There are two forms of inhibition and contrast. One is horizontal contrast, that is, comparing A and B, and achieving the purpose of highlighting the image by belittling one and praising the other. For example, the student's composition "deskmate ABC" selects three small fragments, and vividly depicts a studious and naughty role model image through different reactions to learning tasks such as endorsement and accumulation at the left and right deskmates. Another vertical contrast is the contrast formed due to the change of time. Upper Zhong Yong, which we will study later, is a good example. At the age of five, Fang Zhongyong in this article was able to "write poems by referring to things" and "his arts and sciences were impressive", but after the age of 20, he "disappeared from everyone". The greater the change, the deeper people feel.
Health: I see. It looks very simple.
Teacher: It's relatively simple, but there are two things to remind everyone: First, we should pay attention to the appropriateness of the first sentence and leave room. For example, we want to be promoted first, and the strict requirements of teachers and parents in study and discipline make you uncomfortable and angry, but not too "annoying", otherwise there will be no promotion in the future. By the same token, if you want to boast first, you must boast of superficial hypocrisy. For example, someone's beautiful appearance (but ugly heart) makes you envy, and illegal traders seem enthusiastic (in fact, they hide their knives in their smiles), which makes people feel flattered.
Health: I see, just don't go to extremes.
Teacher: Yes, the second is to pay attention to the appropriate emotional turning point, which is authentic. We must pay attention to the true, natural, reasonable and reasonable emotional changes, and we must not change them forcibly for the sake of simple comparison. For example, writing about the majesty of teachers in learning discipline makes you hate, but change should make you moved by the meticulous life. If it is simple, dignified and relaxed, then the object of writing must be unpredictable and even full of flaws.
(Published in seventh grade edition of Shanxi Learning Weekly, P4 edition on July 3, 2006, serial number: CN54-00 14, website:)