Getting married is like taking the same train, watching the same scenery and listening to the same songs. There are always people who are attracted by the scenery along the way and choose to get off early.
Since we can't be together forever, it's better to be happy with each other, at least goodbye!
But many times, with the end of marriage, the oncoming contradictions are difficult to calm down and cannot be let go of.
At the beginning of marriage, it is often thoughtful and thoughtful. Marriage is not always a stormy Wang Yang, it is a lake that can still run after all the passions recede.
When each other has experienced a vigorous relationship, returning to a dull and stable life is the most beautiful appearance of marriage.
When a marriage ends, it always takes a blink of an eye. Love is the only way for a lasting marriage.
When the triviality of life is being hit and frustrated day by day, only love can keep each other warm.
When love disappears quietly, being together is a kind of torture, and divorce may be a relief.
02
How do men feel when couples face divorce? We interviewed hundreds of readers and summed up six different feelings. Let's hear what they have to say.
@ Mr. Li: Reluctant. At that moment, I felt that the world became very empty.
Married 10 years, I don't know how we got divorced.
My wife is a typical housewife. After marriage, she has no job, mainly taking care of her family and children.
We got along well at first. But slowly, we all feel that there seems to be something missing in our lives. When she comes home from work, she always turns around the children, staring at the homework, urging the endorsement, bathing the children and putting them to bed.
Finally finished, she began to wash clothes and tidy up. We seldom communicate, and most of the same topics revolve around children.
I don't want such a step-by-step life without enthusiasm, so we often quarrel and finally divorce. But after the divorce, I always feel empty.
Every time I come home from work, it's terribly quiet at home, and there are no more wives shuttling around in every corner.
After coming home several times, I inadvertently called out my wife's name, and I always felt as if she was still there. When I got divorced, I realized that I could not bear to part with her and felt that the world was empty.
I wanted to take her home, but I broke her heart before the divorce. I don't know if I have such good luck to accompany her through this life.
@ Mr. Gao: Happy, I can finally live my own life.
My wife is a very strong woman, and she wants to have absolute dominance in both work and life. She is used to being a leader at work and always acts like a leader at home. There is nothing to discuss.
You can sign a contract only after buying a house and a car; Children go to school, attend interest classes and never listen to my advice; I don't even have a say in my parents' pension.
I don't want to talk to her most of the time at home. She can always find many faults in my life and work. In her eyes, I am nothing.
If you ask me if I love her, to be honest, there really is no one. People who have loved before are not like this. Before, she was gentle, but since her career surpassed mine, she has changed.
On the day of my divorce, I asked some close friends to drink and sing K until dawn. This should be the happiest time I have been married for five years.
I don't have to listen to her nagging about my life and my dissatisfaction with my work anymore, so I can finally live the life I want easily.
@ Mr. Su: Numbness, it doesn't hurt to divorce.
I met my wife on a blind date. Our emotional foundation is not deep, and our married life is relatively dull.
I don't talk much and have no hobbies. Usually I like fishing and playing chess with my friends at most, and I don't like going out very much.
Moreover, she likes traveling and shopping, and she wants to ask her friends out whenever she has a holiday.
At the beginning, I was always asked to join me. I am too much trouble. I don't like crowded and lively places, it will be uncomfortable. After a long time, she won't call me.
She filed for divorce, and she said I was unhappy living together. I felt nothing, so I agreed.
After the divorce, I didn't feel anything missing. Life is still the same, and I am very comfortable.
But I don't want to remarry either. I always feel that I am not young. Now such people are also quite good.
@ Mr. Yan: I'm relieved. I don't have to argue with her anymore, and I don't have to be jealous of her.
My wife is younger than me, young and beautiful, lovely and lively.
When I was in love, I thought this soft and cute little girl was too attractive, but after I got married, I found that this was actually an immature performance.
I'm in sales. I socialize and travel occasionally. She is very suspicious. She always makes a series of phone calls when she goes out to socialize. If she doesn't answer the phone in time, there will be a big fight.
If she is on a business trip, it will be even more troublesome. When staying in a hotel at night, she needs to use her mobile phone to patrol around, even under the bed.
Everyday at home, watching mobile phones, wallets and skirts is really commonplace.
We often quarrel over various trifles. Female friends can't answer the phone at all, not even customers. I think her trust in me is basically zero.
When I filed for divorce, she argued for a long time and said everywhere that I must have another woman. Actually, no, I'm just tired.
@ Mr. Zhao: Sad, what should two children do?
/kloc-got married in 0/3, and we have two children. The eldest son is going to junior high school and the youngest daughter is still in kindergarten.
How did you get to the divorce step? It's a long story No betrayal, no quarrel, just a calm decision.
In fact, I don't have much feelings about divorce, but I can't go on at all. But I'm more worried about the children.
After the divorce, my eldest son followed me and my youngest daughter followed my wife.
The two children have a good relationship, and the daughter still calls her brother every day. Every time she hears her daughter say, I miss you, brother. I feel a lot in my heart.
I'm afraid that the divorce between husband and wife will affect the children's character and even their later life.
I love my children, whether they are sons or daughters, and I hope to do everything I can for them. What worries me most is that the breakdown of the family will cause psychological burden and loss to the children.
@ Mr. Sun: Suffering, half of the property is divided, and the career is tested.
After a year of marriage, we will have children. Because our daily work is busy and our parents are not in good health, I asked my wife to resign and take care of the children full-time.
The pressure of life after marriage has increased, and it is difficult to live on a dead salary, so I decided to quit my original job and start my own business. Fortunately, we are very lucky. Our studio has also improved in the past two years. We bought a house and a car.
Divorce is actually a decision I have considered for a long time. I always feel that I have nothing to say to my wife. When it comes to work, she doesn't understand at all, like a person who is divorced from society and only talks about children.
I don't want to continue this dull life. I am still young, and I have a lot of expectations and imagination for the future.
Only after the divorce, the house and most of the savings go to the wife, and the mortgage and child support are also paid every month.
I am in the rising period of starting a business, and I need funds in many aspects, so my career has been greatly tested and influenced. In fact, I really don't understand. I have earned all these things hard. My wife has done nothing. Why should I deprive me of my achievements?
03
How does a man feel when he divorces his ex-wife? What's on his mind?
Behind love, is it hate? No, indifference. When marriage breaks up, both men and women will re-examine their lives, women may eventually find themselves, and men, perhaps through divorce, will get to know their wives again.
After the divorce, it is a kind of repentance to find out the goodness of the ex-wife. After the divorce, my heart became quiet, which was a relief. After divorce, it is a kind of freedom to live for yourself.
Marriage is not a promise that can last forever after an agreement is reached. Marriage is like a battle between two people. Since this is a battle, there will be casualties and we can't leave.
When we are no longer willing to go hand in hand, when we are no longer willing to stop everything for each other, we have to face the death of love.
Just like an expired coke, carbonated drinks without bubbles, only cheap and sweet. Even if you don't give up, you can't tolerate its bad taste.
It's just, if this day comes, can we understand each other more and be relieved? I feel sorry for him for bravely shouldering the storm for the family, and I am grateful that she has devoted herself to the whole youth.
I hope that every marriage will not be a fruitless movie, and finally it will have a happy ending.
But if someone has to choose to give up halfway, I also hope that they will be fine and let go, because everyone who has worked hard for happiness deserves to be treated gently by the world.