Essay: The middle-aged man who can’t let go
I was born in 1973, and am born in the 1970s.
This age is moving from middle age to old age, careers are declining, and marriages are becoming numb. We maintain a strong exterior to the outside world, but are fragile as hell on the inside.
When I was a child, I lived in a family home with many playmates. Without mobile phones, the games were all original: playing house, kicking shuttlecock, jumping rubber bands, jumping squares, throwing sandbags, skipping rope, and hide-and-seek? Not every day. You won't go home if you play in disgrace.
My mother made my schoolbag when I went to elementary school. In addition to books, there were only pencils and erasers in the bag. The teacher is very strict, and it is common for homework to be torn up and rewritten if it is not well written. The homework book is covered with red check marks or crosses. What follows is the teacher’s opinion.
Before I was in the third grade of elementary school, I always drew the 38-point line with my male classmates. If someone exceeded the line, I would push him out with my elbow. Sometimes the two of them would push each other so hard that their faces would turn red. But forget the content of the teacher's lecture.
When I was in junior high school, I made one graduation paper after another. until the wee hours of the morning. Just like the song in "Childhood", we are looking forward to it, looking forward to it, and growing up like this.
New Year's cards are popular when you graduate from high school. Most of them cost fifty cents each. The one-yuan cards are particularly delicate and precious. Generally, they are only given to classmates with whom they are close, and the greeting cards purchased must be carefully handwritten with blessings on them.
The above is nothing more than: success in studies and all the best. There are very few people who write about Auld Lang Syne.
At that time, the only thing our teachers and parents were nagging in our ears was: study hard, study hard, and have a good job in the future. We cannot understand these endless meanings, are irritable, disgusted, sad, disappointed and even want to run away from home.
Our generation has accepted too many negative comparisons from our parents, but no one knows how to encourage and guide us. Other people's children will always be our pain. We try but are at a loss.
Youth is an annoying ticket. What accompanies us is the first line at three o'clock every day and the nagging of our parents. We reluctantly got on the bus, and when we arrived at the end, we realized that those were our most beautiful years.
Some people say: Marriage is a woman’s second life. If you can’t choose birth, choose marriage. So women began to place their hopes on marriage. But no one tells us what love is and what marriage is.
Parents’ opinions are our standards. We gave ourselves over to marriage. In the end, I lost myself.
We catch up with the freedom of marriage but cannot find the marriage we want. The boat of marriage cannot withstand rapid changes, marriage, divorce, mistress, or other uncertain factors.
We don’t know how to control our own destiny. The boat of marriage is drifting in the wind and rain, with helplessness, accommodation, loss and regret.
Family, friendship, and love have become indifferent and selfish, smiles have become facial expressions, and bullying has become a fashion, all kinds of comparisons, all kinds of hypocrisy. I'm used to seeing most people turn from being simple and kind-hearted to being mercenary. We often miss the old days.
We subtly use the ideas of our parents to educate our children, but we forget our own crying eyes.
We always look back in history, but we fall at the same place. When we look back, we often sigh with emotion: If only we were what we were before, we would be what we are now. However, the world never starts over with our sighs.
We are wasting our time in all kinds of anxieties, like Kuafu who dare not stop for a moment. In their rare free time, the men drank and talked about the past, their past, and their own past. Women began to use various beauty treatments in order to regain their lost youth.
Sometimes we also envy our parents’ comfort. Although they are getting older, the dust has settled. But the mission we shoulder still has a long way to go. In fact, our generation is very, very difficult. The difficult pressure in my heart. Self-awareness of happiness and suffering.
We strive to be a role model. We don’t want our children to follow our old path, and we work hard to support our children. But they have forgotten that the world has changed a long time ago. The children are eating McDonald's and playing games and reply with disdain, "You don't understand our world."
Yes, they have grown up, and they should have become independent and learned to fly. The only way forward is to keep falling, and they will soar into the sky.
The afterglow of the setting sun is extremely dazzling, but it will eventually fall. No matter how brilliant and unwilling it was, the stage that belongs to us has come to an end.
Those happy, innocent, and difficult pasts will eventually turn into overlapping, dusty calendars, engraved deep in the soul.
One day we were lying on the wicker chairs like our parents, telling our children and grandchildren about our past over and over again. Sing them our childhood.